Could this be the week?

This Thursday will mark four weeks since the last batch of referrals, so it's possible we could get The Call this week. Realistically and logically, I think it's more likely to happen next week, but I'm excited all the same. After 14 months of waiting, we're now down to mere days! Keep us in your thoughts and prayers this week.

As preparation, Lance and I visited babies this weekend. On Saturday afternoon, I held our new grand-nephew for the first time. He's not even three weeks old yet, so he slept through our entire visit. That gave Great-Aunt Susan an opportunity to admire him, though. Saturday night we went to dinner at the home of a couple who adopted a baby through Sunny Ridge this summer. Miss Gigi is now 11 months old, and she is a ball of fire! She couldn't bother to sit quietly and be admired -- she had things to do. The great news is that she is happy and healthy and seems to be right on track developmentally. Her parents are very pleased with the care she received at her Social Welfare Institute in China, and they can't imagine her not being a part of their family. It made me really eager to start chasing our own little one around our house!

Anyone have a rumor?

It's awfully quiet on the rumor front the last couple of weeks, so I don't know what to tell you except we're still waiting.

Meanwhile, I got word the other day that my friend Sonja had a litle girl, Ava. Congratulations to Sonja and Doug and big sister Cela!

Cat-astrophe in the making?

You're probably wondering why two people in their mid-40s with demanding careers and two older children would think they should add a baby.

Especially when they can't seem to handle a cat.

Meet Cyrus. He's supposed to be our pet, but he thinks he's in charge.

For one thing, he sees our home as his own personal playground. Nothing is off limits; every apparent obstacle is merely a challenge.

He's not bound by convention. If he wants something (for example, the wristwatch my husband bought me on our honeymoon), he takes it. If he's ready for breakfast, he wakes us up by walking across Lance's clock radio and hitting the exact button that turns on the music. If I'm doing something that displeases him, he tells me about it. Loudly. Sometimes in the middle of the night when I thought I was minding my own business by sleeping.

Yet Lance and I are certain that we are the ones paying the bills.

We pamper this cat way too much. For example, when he came to live with us I ordered him a beautiful set of food and water bowls that match our dishes. The food bowl has the word "empty" on the bottom of it, just in case we don't notice he is in need of food. The water dish, as you can see, is quite lovely.

So what does he do when he's thirsty?


Exactly.

You'll notice he's sitting on my newspaper, too -- almost directly on top of my Sudoku puzzle. And don't think that pencil was on the countertop long: One of his favorite games is to swat it onto the floor. I pick it up, I turn my back, he knocks it down. I pick it up again, I start reading a story in the Tribune, he swats the pencil off the counter again . . .

Maybe this is getting me ready for the days when I'll spend hours retrieving things Rachel has dropped from her high chair. After all, we're supposed to be using this "extra time" to prepare for full-time parenthood, aren't we?

Meanwhile, I know one thing: Despite all the annoyances, we adore that cat.


He has a beautiful purr -- his entire body vibrates, and you hear these little high-pitched harmonies in it. We're familiar with his purr because he launches into it right when we're getting ready to discipline him for knocking things off the nightstand into the trash can or for walking across the computer keyboard as one of us is typing. Just look at those beautiful green eyes . . . how can you be angry at a purring kitty?

Cyrus is keeping us entertained as we wait for our little one. And he's preparing us for parenthood in another way -- just as his purr calms our anger, one day the smell of a freshly bathed baby and the sound of her laughter will make all of the work and the wait and the worry worthwhile.

More than worthwhile, I suspect. I hope to be telling you all about it one day soon.

A gallery of babies

Referral photos can be sweet, funny, a little sad -- but always beautiful. Parents will always treasure that first sight of their little one bundled up like the Michelin man or propped up in an inflatible Hello Kitty chair. The webmaster for the July Dragonflies, who recently laid eyes on her own daughter for the first time, has put together this special gallery of referral photos from her little one's orphanage. It's a very sweet collection, and it'll make you laugh out loud. Enjoy!

Rachel's newest cousin

Hi everybody!

Say hello to baby Niklas, Lance's sister's new grandson. He was born Aug. 31 (just a day before his Great-Aunt Susan's birthday) and weighed 7 pounds, 15 ounces. He and his mom, his dad and his two big sisters are all doing fine. His grandparents are proud as they can be -- Gloria is so busy admiring him that she hasn't had time to refine her plot to steal our cat.

We can't wait to meet Nik! And we REALLY can't wait for Nik to meet his cousin Rachel!

Official word

Here's what it looks like when the China Center of Adoption Affairs updates its website:

One quirk of the wording is that CCAA always reports it has finished placing children for families registered "before" a certain date. To most of us, this notice would appear to say they have matched through July 21, not including the 22nd. However, people with log-in dates of July 22 were matched in this last batch.

Our log-in date is July 25. That means if we were waiting for service at the post office, we'd have No. 725, and the clerks would have just finished with customer No. 722. And they've just closed the window for a month-long lunch break.

The last few monthly batches of referrals have included anywhere from 7 to 15 log-in dates. July 25 was a Monday last year, so only a small number of dossiers were logged in over the weekend, July 23 and 24. That would seem to indicate that they can get to us that much faster.

But we're NOT making any assumptions about when we will be matched with Rachel. You'll just have to stay tuned (or consult the Magic 8-Ball). (EDITED 9-11-06: The magic 8-ball has disappeared! What am I going to do now?)

OK, I'm over it

Well, as Scarlett O'Hara always said, "tomorrow is another day." Today is yesterday's tomorrow (got that?), so I have a new attitude. I've climbed out of my pit and am ready to act like a normal human being! Sure, I'm disappointed that we have to wait another month (or more), but when it happens, it happens. We'll get the daughter we were meant to have (see, I told you I'd say that).

I think I deserved 24 hours to feel sorry for myself, and I took it. Now, onward!

Yesterday I posted the link to some other July referral photos, but I wanted to post a special link today so you can see Miss Olivia Jane Wei Schmick. Olivia is the newly matched daughter of Michelle and Eric. Michelle and I have gotten to be good friends through this process, even though we've yet to meet face to face. We found each other through the a Yahoo! group set up for folks whose dossiers were mailed in July. I mentioned that I live in the Chicago area, and Michelle wrote that she had grown up here. Before long we were e-mailing privately, finding that we had many other things in common. In the last few months we've exchanged quilt squares, told each other stories of our families, and solved each other's problems. We've ranted about the delays and delighted in each other's good news. Yesterday, she called me minutes after she received word of her referral, and I was one of the first people to see photos of Olivia. She is absolutely beautiful, of course. Michelle and I both like the outdoor photo best.

Even as she was sharing her good news yesterday, Michelle was asking how I was doing. And even through my own sadness, I was delighting in her happy news and crying over her daughter's photos. (Michelle! You're a MOM!) We had hoped to travel together, and now it looks like we won't, but I'm looking forward to her blazing a trail for me to follow and sharing her advice for those first few days of motherhood. And when we both get back, Michelle will bring Olivia here to meet her grandparents and other relatives, and we'll all meet. And we hope Olivia and Rachel will be friends.

So go look at the baby!

Oh, well. What's another month?

The Rumor Queen herself was stunned yesterday when people started posting news of referrals. We didn't even have a hint they were on the way! You can just imagine what a basket case I was at work, thinking that we might be in the group. But as the hours wore on and more and more folks reported in, we began to realize (with a sickening feeling) that CCAA had matched only 9 calendar days' worth of dossiers. The CCAA still has not updated its site, but it's clear today that the referrals only went through July 22 log-in dates. We were logged in July 25. That means we have to wait until the end of September for news.

We missed the cutoff by three stinking days.

I know many of you are genuinely distressed at this news, and you will want to offer us support and comfort. I apreciate that more than you can know; you have been more than kind to us, and I know you'll be as excited as we are when it is finally our turn. So I don't want to be disrespectful or ungrateful when I say this, but please don't tell me one of these things today:

1) At least you know you're next! No, I don't. I can't believe it until it happens.
2) When you get Rachel, you'll know she was "the one" and you'll be glad you had to wait until she was ready. I know this is true. I'll probably post this sentiment myself in just a week or two. But I'm sure you'll understand why, at least today, that is no comfort at all.

I'm grieving right now. In a couple of days I'll be fine, but right now I'm just miserable. I myself offered those bits of comfort to other people in previous months, but now I understand. I'll be OK, but today I just need to feel sorry for myself.

Some of my friends in the July group got referral calls yesterday, and many are eagerly anticipating them today. You can see the referrals on our group's web page. The babies are exceptionally beautiful this month, but I say that every time. We all know that next month's referrals will be the MOST beautiful of all.

Yes. Still. Waiting.

Wake us when there's news . . .

Predictions

The other day a friend at work asked if I had any news. I told her nope, not a thing.

"What does the gossip lady say?" she asked.

"It's not 'the gossip lady,'" I told her sternly. "It's the RUMOR QUEEN!"

Please, a little respect!

The Rumor Queen has many loyal subjects who check her site daily (OK, hourly) for any news about when referrals might come out, what dates they might include or any snippets of information about What The Heck They're Doing in China.

She tends to have solid information before anyone else. The rumors also can drive you crazy. And they are, after all, rumors. But those of us hoping for a referral this month find ourselves checking her site 10 (or 20 . . . OK, 30) times a day. It's addictive.

All hail the Queen!

I must admit, though, that while I'm waiting for word, I've found another source of hope: The Magic 8-Ball. (EDITED 9-11-06: The online Magic 8-Ball is no more). Even the Queen herself has suggested it is as accurate as she is early in the month. Until today, it has kept me cautiously optimistic that we'll receive a referral this month, but it has led me to believe that it will come so late that I won't have a photo of Rachel until September. Just now I asked again, though:

"Will we get our referral in August?" "You may rely on it."

Will we see her photo before Labor Day?" "YES."

I figure right now it's about as accurate as anything. Go ahead, check it for yourself. And let me know what it tells you!

Reunited twins

The Tribune today contained a beautiful story about reunited Chinese twins. Click here to see it. (You might have to register with the Tribune, but it's free).

Goodbye to an old friend

Today Lance and I had to say goodbye to Ethel, my 16-year-old pug/dachshund mix. She was a faithful friend and a good dog, and I already miss her.

























Ethel was always looking out for me. I love this photo because it was taken just a couple months after Lance and I began dating -- see how she has her eye on him?




Ethel put up with a lot, especially in the last few years:

Rest in peace, old friend.

Wow, this is taking a long time

(EDITED: I removed the annoying running counter because we received our referral at noon Sept. 25 -- that was 427 days, 10 hours and 58 minutes after our dossier was logged in at the China Center of Adoption Affairs).


The wait starts to wear on you after awhile, you know? I'm afraid to get too excited about our referral possibly being in the next batch because I don't want to be disappointed, but I think it's about time, don't you?

Hey! You found us!

Thanks for visiting The Rachel Chronicles, news about our adoption from China. Right now we're anxiously waiting to see Rachel's photo for the first time. Soon we'll be reporting on our trip to China and filing daily dispatches -- and photos. Then we'll chronicle life at home with our new daughter.

You can comment on any post by hitting the comment buttom at the end of it. If you don't have a blogger account you can post by hitting "anonymous," but please sign the post so we know who you are.

Below this post you'll also find all the original posts from the Caring Bridge site, with their photos. I have edited a few notes in some of them to account for the different format. I put the original post date on top, even though blogspot of course will identify them as being posted in August.

We hope you'll enjoy following along! It won't be long now, I promise.

A few notes on procedure

The time before we actually see little Rachel's face is growing short, so I thought I'd give you an idea how it will work. I don't want anybody to miss anything!

First of all, we'll hear that the China Center of Adoption Affairs is sending out "referrals" for dossiers logged in for a period of time that includes our log-in date of July 25, 2005. (I usually get word through a blog of a woman calling herself the Rumor Queen).

At some point, the CCAA will update its site with official word, but thanks to the internet adoption community we usually know sooner than that.

Once we hear referrals are on the way, Lance and I will spend several days jumping every time the phone rings. One of those phone calls at last will be our social worker, Bernie, calling to tell us we have been referred a child.

This is the part where our agency operates differently from others: Bernie will tell us our child's name, where she lives, and her date of birth. But that's about all we'll get for a week or 10 days, until the documents are fully translated to English. (Other agencies provide the photo that day or the next, but Sunny Ridge doesn't want us falling in love with the photo before we can get the full packet of information).

Finally, a LONG week or so later, we will drive to Sunny Ridge to get our FIRST PHOTOS of Rachel! Bernie also will give us that very important packet of documents containing medical information and other facts about our baby. A doctor in Chicago will review the information for us and then tell us if there is anything that should concern us. We will then sign some papers letting the Chinese government know we intend to adopt that child.

Once everyone in our travel group has accepted their referrals, Sunny Ridge will mail the documents back to China. After that, we have to wait several week to get permission to travel. Sunny Ridge will then schedule our appointment with the U.S. consulate and book our trip. Travel likely will be 8-10 weeks after we receive our referrals, but we might not know exactly when it's going to be until just a couple weeks before our departure date.

I almost forgot the most important part -- I will be updating every step of the way! Stay tuned for the first glimpse of Rachel’s face and vital statistics, as well as details on our trip.

This web site has been a wonderful way to keep people updated, but I think we’re going to move to a different address soon to get a little more flexibility. I want to move to a blog format so we can post more photos, and so we can post them alongside our text instead of in a different place. I don’t want anyone missing any part of our wonderful adventure! Once the blog is set up, I’ll post that information here, too.

So keep visiting -- you don‘t want to miss that sweet little face (or her fetching referral photo outfit!)

Official confirmation

The China Center of Adoption Affairs has made it official by updating its website -- the latest matches included families whose dossiers were logged in through July 13. Our log-in dates is July 25, so our chances for a referral in the next batch look very good. We should get news of our child before the end of August!

Now that we're close, I'm going to plan to update at least twice a week (probably more often as August goes on), so please check back often!

Nearing the finish line

A long time ago, when I lived in Arizona (and was much thinner), I ran a marathon -- just one, but I did it. This wait has reminded me of that experience in many ways. When I started the marathon, I was confident, in control, excited -- maybe even running a bit too fast. I settled into a comfortable stride as I began passing the mile markers. But gradually my pace slowed, and by mile 20 or 21, I found myself nearly alone and wondering if I could really do it. A man who had started a conversation with me early in the run (and who had completed 6 or 7 marathons previously) dropped out. A friend who was riding her bicycle along with me had sprinted ahead for awhile. I was walking more and more. But as I approached the end of the course, I got a burst of energy. My friend on the bike rejoined me, and my race buddy ran a few hundred of the last yards with me. I was determined to be running as I turned the corner to see the finish line, and I was -- only to discover that the race organizers were getting ready to take down the race clock. I summoned the energy to scream, "NOOOOO!." Startled, they left it up until I finished (I think the official results had me fourth to last).

Lance and I started this child adoption marathon feeling strong and confident. I actually thought that the home study and paperwork was the worst part. I even told some folks, "well, I've done all I can do. Now we just have to wait."

Just wait. Yep, that's all!

The good news is that we've rounded that last corner, and the people in charge are NOT taking down the finish line! We have the goal in sight, and we know we'll make it there SOON.

Friday and today, families whose dossiers were logged in a few weeks before ours are receiving calls from their agencies telling them they have been matched with a child. They'll now start their sprint toward the finish line. And we are right behind them, picking up the pace as we turn the corner. I feel very confident that our referral will be in the next batch, which I would expect to be out by the end of August.

That's only four or five weeks!

The CCAA has not yet updated its website to say how far the current matches go, but the agencies are telling their clients that the last day matched is July 13. We are logged in July 25.
Today is going to be an exciting day on our July Yahoo! group, as happy families start posting photos of their precious children. You can see many of the referrals also posted on our group's public website. Click on the referrals link to see what's there. So far we have listed a few expedited referrals (special needs children, or children referred to folks of Chinese ancestry), but later today you should start seeing some new little ones (some only 7 or 8 months old!)

So we have rounded the corner, we see the finish line, and we know the race clock will not be taken down before we cross it. In less than 30 days, we should be admiring our own little one's precious face -- and sharing it with all of you.

I expect to be updating more frequently as we near this exciting milestone, so please check back often!

Excitedly yours,

Susan

A new year in China

On July 25, 2005, the China Center of Adoption Affairs logged in our dossier. At the time, we expected to receive a photo and information on our daughter in six or seven months. but one year later we are still waiting. We don't think it'll be much longer, though, so stay tuned for updates.


On July 15, we attended a picnic with other families who will be traveling to China with us. It was about the hottest day ever in Illinois, but we had a good time getting to know each other a little better. I think it's going to be a really fun group. We're already supportive of each other through an e-mail chain and agency gatherings, and we will be getting together for many years to come as we watch our daughters grow. Check out the photos in the photo section (and, by the way, I am now allowed 12 photos instead of just six, so I was able to post three pictures from the picnic). (EDITED: But, of course, in the blog format I can post the photos all right here).

We're still expecting our referral in about a month, but that could change. Please check back often for news! I'll update in the next few days, once the next batch of referrals is mailed. Maybe we'll have some even better news then; you never know what will happen!

Quiltin' time

When Lance and I visited Brentwood last week, I
took some more fabric to my mother, who is
making our daughter‘s One Hundred Good Wishes
Quilt. On Saturday afternoon, we decided to take a
look at what we had. Mom already had pieced
together some of the 10-by-10 blocks, so we put
those out on the table to admire. Then we matched
some of the other fabrics and got to work. I cut the
pieces to the proper size, and Mom sewed together
more blocks. Sister Kay was our chief ironer,
fetcher and entertainer. We added the new blocks
to the others and stepped back to view the
collection.

It’s beautiful! The picture shows most of the blocks laid out, but they are not yet in any particular order, so this isn’t the quilt’s final appearance. But it gives us an idea of the diversity of the pieces and how they somehow all fit together to make a beautiful keepsake.

Our original plan was to use a snowball pattern, which would have had us cut all the pieces to the same size and shape. But just as our friends and family members are each unique and beautiful in their own way, so were the materials donated for the quilt. We realized that we couldn’t just cut them all down to fit a pattern -- some needed a little bit larger space, or a different shape or size. So we found something else that seems to be working.

The pattern we’re using calls for three pieces of fabric in each block, but few of the blocks fit the pattern exactly. Some blocks have pieces of different sizes than in the pattern (good thing I‘m good at math!). Some blocks will be composed of two fabrics instead of three, and a few will be only one fabric (like nephew Brett’s Mickey Mouse shirt, for example, or my friend’s large pocket with a Velcro flap that she donated so Rachel would have a place to put her treasures). With others we just had to get creative, like sewing Cousin Brenda’s blue jeans pocket on a square of my mother’s colorful fabric. I love every one of them.

Kay kept trying to make it tidy, to have all the blocks symmetrical or laid out in certain color families. I told her to give up on that! When I look at the pieces, I don’t see a hodge-podge of designs, I see the love and good wishes of our family and friends. I started telling Kay the story behind each individual piece, who donated it and why that person is special to us. You all have poured out so much love on a child you haven’t even met -- you have no idea how wonderful that makes us feel. And just think of how SHE will feel years from now when she looks at the quilt and reads your wishes in her scrapbook. It makes me ache even more to bring that baby home and wrap her in all that love.

We’re going to use some of the fabrics again on the border, so if your contribution ended up being just a small piece, you’re likely to see it again in another spot. If you can’t find you fabric in the photo, don’t worry: Some fabrics are not yet in blocks because we’re waiting to match them with others or trying to decide how best to use them. My own donation is not yet in a block, nor is Lance’s.

If you haven’t donated your fabric yet, it’s time to send it to me or to my mother. Please do it soon -- we don’t want to leave anyone out.

Besides, “Seventy-five Good Wishes Quilt” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Waiting for the Lord

My dear friend Debi, who is pastor of the Cheney (Wash.) United Church of Christ, went to China last month on a sort of mission trip. While there, she sent e-mail reports to her congregation (and me!) about all the things she and her daughter were seeing and doing. One letter included this paragraph:

"I spent my time watching all the cute Chinese children, and saw an 8-month and 20-day-old little girl named JingJing. I thought of Susan waiting for a baby, and thought that it will be worth the wait."

On Friday, the director of our adoption agency's China program updated waiting parents, saying, in part:

"For many of us who wait and try and find answers and rationales for wait times, we busy ourselves with perusing the internet via chat rooms, e-lists and websites. Much of the process is out of control, and so we fill up the days to learn as much as possible and, as a result, feel as if we have some sort of understanding. The process of adoption can make Type A personalities out of control, and yet we have to acknowledge our lack of control. We learn patience, grudgingly."

Don't you think she could have just sent me a private e-mail? She even went on to repeat the Serenity Prayer, for goodness' sake.

Then this morning in church, our pastor preached a sermon whose title I've borrowed for this update. The scripture was from Psalm 130: "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope."

Rev. Babler talked about how in our anxiousness to "get things done," we find it difficult to "wait upon the Lord." He pointed out that Ron Santo keeps commenting, as Cubs batters take their position at home plate, that they look like they're too anxious; they're leaning into the ball instead of waiting for the pitch. They're trying too hard to overcome their reputation of being "lovable losers."

Yesterday, the Cubs had a one-point lead in the ninth inning, with two outs and two strikes, only to have the White Sox's A. J. Pierzynski hit one out of the park -- and score three runs to win the game. So if Dr. Phil were here to ask, "how's that working for ya?" the Cubs would have to respond, "not so good."

Rev. Babler said, "Faith means trust. Trust means waiting -- waiting on a good and merciful Lord."

And:

"God is here. God is ahead. God is at work."

OK, OK. I don't have to be hit over the head any more. I trust the process. I am serene. I am waiting for the Lord to work this precious miracle in our lives.

And, yes, I know it will be well worth the wait

I am so grateful for all of you whose souls are waiting with ours.

Serenely yours,
Susan

P.S. -- Families from our adoption agency are in China now and have received their little blessings! You can see a report from one Mom here.