Ting Ting needs just a little time

Rachel Shu-Ting is asleep in her daddy's arms right now. Things are going well, but I'm sorry to say I won't be able to post her photos until tomorrow. The poor little thing had a rough day, and she has glommed on to Lance and he can't download the (many) photos we have.

He charmed the pants off her today, though, and she thinks he's the greatest thing in the world. I can't wait to share the video of him feeding her Cheerios. And guess what toy she played with the most today? That's right, the remote control. She picked up that sucker and pressed buttons like an experienced channel surfer. Lance had the good idea to turn on the TV so she could hear the Chinese, but she kept pushing the button to order movies in the room. And they weren't age-appropriate, if you know what I mean.

She spent a good deal of her afternoon on the bed with Lance, in a T-shirt and diaper, channel surfing. Oh, and stuffing her face with snack foods. Does she sound like she belongs in our family?

That's not to say that she doesn't think I'm pretty swell, too, especially when I have a warm bottle prepared for her. But she prefers that Lance hold her, and we're going slowly with her, having him hold her while I feed her carrots or Cheerios or play with her. At one point today, I blew bubbles at her and she giggled and squealed and clapped her hands. She has at least four teeth, if not six, and she can flash a grin that will melt your heart. This afternoon the orphanage director visited each of the babies and parents in their hotel rooms, and little Ting Ting was an outrageous flirt.

I'll have to write tomorrow about the events of today, which was a long and emotionally exhausting day for us all. But right now they're sleeping and I need to get to bed as well -- we're headed to the Civil Affairs office first thing in the morning to complete the adoption. I hope that in the afternoon we'll be able to regroup a bit so we can share that heart-melting grin with you all.

More photos from Beijing

My beloved husband (and technology provider) is getting irritated that I am not posting more of his photos. So before I tell you about the trip to Changsha (and mention, by the way, that we will have our daughter in approximately 3 1/2 hours from RIGHT NOW), I decided to show you some more sights from Beijing,


This is the Drum Tower in Beijing. I told you the other day that it was a steep climb to the top, but a picture is worth a thousand words, so here is the staircase.




And here are our travel mates Chuck and Lynette at the Forbidden City. (You can check out their blog for another perspective on our trip -- and for the news about one of their band's songs being featured on an upcoming episode of All My Children.

Chuck and Lynette produced the beautiful Lullabies CD that I have been raving about for months (Lance has it on our iPod to play for Rachel. Did I mention we're going to have her today?).

These is from the acrobatic show in Beijing on Friday night.




Travel mates Anne and Alex at the Beijing Duck dinner. They are now in Fujian Province and already the parents of twins.
And here are Alex and our travel mate Mickey at lunch on Saturday.


Rachel will be placed in our arms at 9:30 a.m. today (7:30 p.m. Sunday in Chicago). Stay tuned for photos.

I don't think we're in Chicago anymore

No, we're definitely not in Chicago anymore. I say that for two reasons:

1) People in Chicago spent Saturday trying to dig out from a huge winter storm that had closed schools and snarled traffic the day before. We enjoyed another clear -- though bitterly cold -- day of sightseeing.

2) That's not Mayor Daley in the painting.

This portrait of Chairman Mao is above the entrance to the Forbidden City. Our guide said the huge painting is completely redone each year so that it doesn't suffer from being exposed to the elements day after day. The original artist has died, so his son has inherited that job.

The Forbidden City is across the street from Tianamen Square, where we began our adventures Saturday. It's an incredibly large public square filled with people admiring the monuments or aggressively trying to sell tourists a stocking cap or a Chairman Mao wristwatch. Chinese people visiting Beijing from all over this enormous country will spend hours in long lines to get into a building where they will slowly file past the body of Chairman Mao, still on display in a crystal coffin.
We crossed the street instead to tour the Forbidden City, once off limits to commoners like ourselves. The place is huge: We went through several gates and admired several elaborate buildings before our guide had us wait for him to get our tickets to actually go inside! Many of the buildings were under scaffolding being renovated in time for the 2008 Olympic games. We didn't have the time nor the weather to do the place justice, but we gave it our best. Then we thawed out in a lovely restaurant where beautiful young women served us a traditional Chinese lunch.

After lunch we went to the silk factory, where we learned all about how the cocoons of silk worms are turned into beautiful silk cloth. We followed that up with a rickshaw tour of a "hutong" or traditional old Chinese neighborhood of homes on small alleyways. We even were privileged to go inside the home of a typical Chinese family and learn about how they live. We finished up our sightseeing by going to the top of an ancient bell and drum tower to view this amazing city.

We went to a pearl market and then finished the day with a wonderful meal of Beijing Duck.

The heavy tourist part of our adventure has ended; tomorrow morning we head off for the provinces where our daughters await us.

Anne and Alex will travel to Fujian province to receive their twin daughters, Ava and Ana. Our guide Peter will accompany them and help them through the adoption process (here he appears to be telling them that the twins are thataway).

The other 10 families will go to Hunan province (birthplace of Chairman Mao) to meet our "Ba" babies. For now, our daughters share the same surname because they were all under the care of the same orphanage, the Yueyang County Social Welfare Institute. They will end the week with new names and families, but hopefully they will continue to enjoy a sisterhood through the friendships of their parents, who have climbed walls and steep staircaseses together, eaten and laughed together and shivered in solidarity as we educated ourselves about this beautiful country that is giving each of us a precious gift.

Tomorrow we fly to Changsha and get settled in our room. Then, on Monday, we meet Ba Shu Ting. We'll send news and photos as soon as we can.

A Great Day

Before we meet Rachel Shu-Ting we're spending a little time getting to know her beautiful homeland. Beijing is more than 3,000 years old, so there is much to absorb and not nearly enough time to see it in two days of touring here, but we're giving it our best shot. By 6:30 p.m. today, for example, we had visited a jade factory, a cloisonne factory, hiked up part of the Great Wall of China, toured the Summer Palace, and seen an acrobatic show. Tomorrow's agenda includes visits to the Forbidden City, Tianamen Square, a pearl factory and a dinner of famous Beijing Duck.
The Great Wall was a great test of our endurance. The weather was chilly today, and we could feel it getting colder as we rode the bus north of Beijng. I don't think any of us were prepared for the way the wind could whip across the top of that old stone wall and chill us right down to the bone, though. And no matter how much you read about how steep and uneven the stairs are, you really aren't prepared for how challenging the climb can be. When we finally got to the top portion and were trying to catch our breath, a travel mate said, "Now go do that again with a bunch of stone bricks on your back." It really puts this ancient construction project into persepctive. A couple of times Lance and I debated whether we should keep going, but we decided this might be our only chance, and we didn't want to say we gave up so close from our goal.

And, as I remembered from my Grand Canyon days, going down is not a lot easier. I'm waving jauntily in this photo, but right before Lance snapped it I was clinging to the railing for dear life as I carefully chose my next step.
Most of our group made it as far as we did. After all the hurdles we've jumped over the last two years, what's a little stone wall, anyway?
The Summer Palace was a wonder of excesses like a special hall built solely as a place to celebrate one ruler's birthday, or this marble boat:


We could certainly tell why it was the SUMMER palace, though! Did I mention how COLD it was today?

After lunch, I found these cool terra cotta soldiers in a store we visited.
Lance enjoyed making new friends.
If I can stay awake after my duck tomorrow, I'll report on another day's adventures. Then it's off to Changsha to meet Ting Ting!

Ni hao!

Greetings from Beijing! We arrived safely late this afternoon and, after crawling through rush-hour traffic, checked in to our hotel. We're off to bed early tonight because we're leaving at 8 a.m. sharp tomorrow for the Great Wall!

Here is our travel group (minus two couples) Wednesday morning:


(kneeling in front, l to r: Chad, Frances, Lynette, Chuck. Standing, l to r: Alex, Anne, Mickey, Jacquie, Jennifer, Tamara, Erik, Barbara, Bob, Regina, Jeff, Judy, Lance, Susan)

That photo was taken BEFORE the 13 1/2-hour flight (which, incidentally, was delayed on the ground 90 minutes, although we arrived less than half an hour later than originally scheduled). We touched down in Beijing late afternoon Thursday. Would you like me to tell you how Thursday turns out?

Here's the same group on the bus from the airport:

We still look pretty good, don't you think?

Here's techno-geek Lance on the plane:

In this photo he's watching a movie stored on his iPod on the bigger-screen DVD player. And they're both hooked up to special batteries. And he has his noise-canceling headphones ready.

And here's the photo of our plane, which Lance insisted I include (and since he downloaded the photos for me, I didn't have much choice):



Well, that's enough practice for today. The technology appears to be working, so we're all set for Rachel day -- stay tuned.

Day after tomorrow!

We're past the point of counting down the days now, we're leaving the day after tomorrow!

My apologies to people who tried to post comments last night and couldn't; I think it's fixed now.

I have to go pack -- did I mention we're leaving the day after tomorrow?

Enough about us, already

Lance and I have been waiting a long time to travel to China to meet our daughter. We have to remember, though, that little Ba Shu Ting hasn't been waiting for us at all.

This 10-month-old girl spends her days playing in her walking assisting cart, eating steamed eggs and fruit paste, and examining her toys intently. She claps her hands and kicks her feet when she's happy and likes to imitate the older kids. She has no way of knowing that in just a week all of that -- and the only family she has ever known -- will be gone. She'll be handed to two funny-looking people who speak gibberish and flash lights in her face and feed her awful food and dress her in unfamiliar clothes. They'll have some toys for her, but they aren't the toys she is used to, and although these strangers will be nice to her and try to comfort her, she'll just want her mama -- and her mama is not that woman who's squeezing her so tightly.

As one of our social workers once said, the best day of our lives could be the worst day of hers.

When she's placed in our arms, little Ting Ting might scream in terror. She might arch her back or push us away in a fury. Or she might do just the opposite and sit placidly, not making eye contact, and maybe sleeping for hours at a time to just tune us out. She might refuse to eat. She could prefer one of us over the other and get agitated when that parent leaves her sight for any reason. Or she might seem to be a really happy baby the first few weeks only to experience night terrors after we get home.

Any of those reactions would be normal. And, as strange as this might sound, we'd welcome any of them, because they are signs that she had "attached" to her foster family and is grieving their loss. That also means that she should be able to form an attachment with us, too, in time.

Attachment is essential. A baby who doesn't form proper attachments will grow up feeling the world is not a safe place and will not learn to trust people. She might have difficulty learning because certain parts of her brain are underdeveloped. Her social and emotional development will be impaired. She won't be able to form lasting relationships as an adult.

(You can read more about attachment at these sites: www.a4everfamily.org and attach-china.org).

I'm sharing this information now so you will understand why we'll be doing some things that might seem to you to be overprotective when we first get home. Rachel will probably be taking a bottle for months longer than you think she should. We will avoid crowds and keep her home with just us for awhile. If she cries at night, one of us will immediately be at her side. We will limit visitors, and we might not let anyone else even hold her for a month or two after we get home.

I can see you all rolling your eyes right now. Some of you are even saying, "Oh, please -- you'd think nobody ever had a baby before!"

But the fact is that Rachel Shu-Ting might need for us to treat her more like an infant at first so she can regress a bit and build a healthy attachment. We're fortunate that she's so young and that she spent her first months in a foster home rather than in an institution; both those factors will help the process. But at first, Lance or I will be providing all of her day-to-day care: feeding, bathing, diapering, comforting.

We'll take our cues from Ting Ting, and you'll need to trust us to know when she's ready to face the world at large. In the meantime, please feel welcome to visit us, but only in small groups. You can play with her while one of us holds her or sits behind her. You can tickle her and talk silly to her and hand her toys. You could run an errand or two for us if you want to help.

But you're not changing a single diaper, no matter how much you beg.

Five days away!

We leave in just a few days . . . let me see, how many is it? Oh, yes! Five! In exactly five days at this time we'll be on our way to O'Hare.

Today is my last day to work before taking my 16-week leave. I've never taken more than a couple weeks off at a time in my entire working life, so it's exciting as well as terrifying! Fortunately, I have wonderful support from all the folks there and don't have to worry about anything . . . except motherhood!

Lance is off today for the holiday, but he is working one more day as well. He goes in Monday to tie up some loose ends.

Tomorrow we'll get the kids' help putting up our tree and other Christmas decorations so that it'll all be ready when we get home with Ting Ting.

Monday and Tuesday I'll be running a few errands and putting everything in suitcases. Wish me luck!

Happy Thanksgiving (6 more days)

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! We have much to be thankful for this year, but today I want to send a special shout-out to my friend Nancy and all my coworkers in Oak Brook. I am working tomorow, but most of my coworkers are not, so we had a congratulations and goodbye cake yesterday afternoon.

This is not a group to miss an opportunity for cake, of course, but they have been extra nice to me the last couple of months, decorating my office and throwing a lunchtime baby shower. Nancy made a strawberry cake so it would be pink. It was also delicious.

That's Nancy with me in the photo.

Six more days until we leave -- I am just a little excited.

One more week

A week from today we leave for China! Yesterday we got our complete itinerary for the two weeks we'll be there:

NOV. 29: Depart O'Hare for Beijing midday.

NOV. 30: Arrive in Beijing late in the afternoon.

DEC. 1-2: Tour Beijing and visit sites such as the Great Wall of China and the Forbidden City. Try to adjust to a 14-hour time difference.

DEC. 3: Fly to Changsha, capitol of Hunan.

DEC. 4: RACHEL DAY. Our daughter is placed in our arms for the first time and we begin adoption paperwork.

DEC. 5: No activities planned -- a day to get to know Ting Ting.

DEC. 6-8: We take tours, go sightseeing, do some shopping in Changsha. We hope to take a ride up to Yueyang, where Rachel spent the first 10 1/2 months of her life. On the 8th, we will get Rachel's passport and other paperwork.

DEC. 9: Fly to Guangzhou -- Ting Ting's first airplane ride.

DEC. 10: Free morning, consulate paperwork meeting in the afternoon.

DEC. 11-13: Mostly shopping, touring, but also some necessary steps such as Rachel's medical exam on Monday, our consulate appointment on Tuesday, picking up her visa and getting her sworn in at the American consulate.

DEC. 14: Begin the long trip home by flying to Hong Kong, then direct from there to Chicago.

As you can see by the clock on this page, China is 14 hours ahead of Chicago. That means that when you wake up in the morning, we're trying to get that little baby to sleep!

My plan is to update the blog at night so you can see new photos and reports each morning. I know from my year or more of devouring adoption blogs, though, that it's not always easy to adhere to that plan. We will be fighting jet lag, adjusting to parenthood (first time for me!), trying to get to know a little girl who likely will be upset and frightened, and relying on what could be spotty internet service or other technical glitches. I also know from months of reading, though, how frustrating it is to have no updates when you're following along at home. So I will assure you that I will do my best to post photos of that baby every day -- I don't flatter myself by thinking that you care one whit about what Lance and I are doing :-)

You can encourage us and bolster our spirits by posting comments to the daily posts or e-mailing one of us privately. Think of how wonderful it will be for us to feel your support. And years from now, we can share those comments with our daughter to show her how much she was loved and wanted before we even knew who she was.

We're so grateful for the interest you've all shown in our journey so far. Now we're getting close to meeting our daughter, and we need your good thoughts and prayers even more. Please remember Rachel in your prayers -- she will not understand why she is being taken from the only family she has ever known and handed to these weird-looking people who talk funny and don't know how she likes her cereal. And please remember the foster family who has cared for her for the last 10 months as they send her on her way. They will have to say goodbye to this precious little one so she can become part of our family.

They have given us a very special gift. And it is with that knowledge that we will celebrate a very special Thanksgiving this year.

Shower photos

I wanted to share some photos Lance took at Rachel's shower on Nov. 12 (yes, I DO think we'll download photos more quickly in China -- I know you all won't stand for waiting 9 days to see the little one!)

You can see we all had a great time. And the photos are really nice, so you WILL get good photos of Rachel while we're in China.



Here I am with my sister-in-law, Chris, who served as stenographer as I opened gifts.





My stepdaughter, Lauren, served as videographer (she's holding Lance's long-awaited and much-prized new video camera).











My mother came to town for the weekend. Here she is with Aunt Viv.










Rachel received some adorable outfits.










The beautiful cake.

Our friend Debbie, who threw the shower for us, really put her heart into the entire afternoon. It was a beautiful event from start to finish.


And here are my sisters- in-law, Chris and Gloria. No, Cyrus didn't attend the shower -- Lance was practicing his photoshop skills!


We leave for China in EIGHT DAYS!!!

Our life by the numbers

12: Number of days until we leave for China.

44: Pounds allowed per suitcase for in-China flights (and we're limited to one suitcase each).

5 1/2: Number of hours' sleep I got last night (it was a good night for me!)

82: Number of squares collected for our One Hundred Good Wishes Quilt so far.

16 (or 17): Number of days until we hold Rachel Shu-Ting for the first time.

5: Number of days still to work before we leave.

3: Number of staff evaluations I have to complete before I can go.

16: Number of weeks I'm taking off work as family leave.

18: Number of quilt squares shy of 100 we are (If you haven't contributed, please do! If you
need help, e-mail me).

13 1/2: Hours it'll take us to fly to Beijing.

4: Number of electronic devices Lance is taking on the plane for entertainment or comfort (that's not counting the camera and camcorder).

9: Number of days before Cyrus goes to Aunt Gloria's house.

Unknown: Number of days before Gloria gives him back.

0: Number of days until Rachel's 10-month birthday (Happy birthday, Ting Ting!).

Book 'em, Lance-O

I know that's a terrible headline, but I'm feeling a bit punchy. We have booked our flights! We are leaving around lunchtime on Nov. 29 and arrive in Beijing in the late afternoon of the next day.

Our return flight arrives at O'Hare 8 minutes after we leave Hong Kong.

That jet lag is really going to mess with our heads! Of course, our heads will be swimming anyway. And just imagine what a whirlwind it's going to be for an almost-11-month-old girl on the other side of the world.

WE'RE GOING TO CHINA!!!!!

We got word this morning that our consulate appointment is set, and we are leaving for China on Nov. 29! That's the Wednesday after Thanksgiving, just two weeks from tomorrow (oh my gosh, two weeks from tomorrow!!!). We'll get info this afternoon on the exact flights and times, and we will book our travel (oh my gosh, we are making plane reservations!!!!!!).

I'll try to update tonight or in the morning with more information. In the meantime, I have to get to work -- all of a sudden I have a lot to do!

Ting Ting will be home with her family in time for Christmas -- what a glorious holiday it will be.

Showered with blessings

Thanks to our friend Debbie, members of Lance's family and members of their church for throwing us a wonderful baby shower on Sunday afternoon! They gave Rachel too many wonderful gifts to list here, but more importantly they all shared in our excitement and joy. I think they're almost as excited as we are, if that is possible! My mother was here for the weekend, so she got to be there with us, and she just loved it. It was a fun afternoon, talking about Rachel and China and our trip and getting excited all over again. I hope to be able to post photos soon of Rachel wearing some of the cute outfits or reading the delightful books or playing with the sweet toys. Thank you so much for being so excited for us!

Travel approval!

We received word today that our travel approval has arrived from China! Now our agency will be making an appointment for us at the American consulate in Guangzhou. Once we receive our consulate appointment date, we'll know when we're leaving.

We hope to have firm travel dates by the middle of next week! Woo hoo!

In our hearts

Lance and I went to a pumpkin farm a couple weeks ago with his Sunday School kids. Ting Ting wasn't able to go with us this year, but we carry her in our hearts.

We're not far

Rachel might be half a world away right now, but we won't have to wait too much longer to go to meet her. Our agency sent word this morning that our travel approval is on its way and should arrive this week. I'll spare you all the timeline mumbo-jumbo and get to the point -- the best guess right now is that we'll leave for China on Nov. 29 or Dec. 6.

We hope to have our plans firmed up by the middle of next week, then it won't be long before we're on our way.

I had a feeling we might get news today; maybe it was because of yesterday's sermon. In honor of All Saints Day, Rev. Babler talked about how good it feels to be close to a goal. He reminded us how good it felt when we were a child on a long car trip to hear that "we're not far" from our destination. He spoke of his son, who was running a marathon that very morning after months of training, and how it must feel wonderful to know he's not far from the finish line.

My friend Debi is visiting, and she and Lance were in church with me to hear these words. Debi and I had run into the pastor at the holiday bazaar on Saturday, and I had showed him the latest photos of Rachel and talked about our upcoming trip. So when we left the church, he congratulated Lance on our good news and said, "you're not far!"

After two years of paperwork and seminars and waiting, our goal is within reach. Our daughter is half a world away, but right around the corner.

Rachel, here we come!

More babies!

Congratulations to the latest sets of new parents! Referrals arrived Thursday and Friday for parents whose dossiers were logged in to the CCAA by Aug. 25.

You will be able to see some photos by going here and clicking on "referrals."

Introducing . . .

Isn't this cool?

A co-worker of Lance's was kind enough to translate an introduction letter that we can print onto cards to take to China. We're told that the Chinese people are very friendly to visitors and will want to know something about us and our baby. I hope to use a few of my (very) basic Mandarin skills to have some rudimentary conversations, but let's face it -- I'm going to run out of topics pretty quickly! This card will get our point across much better.

This is what it says:

Hello

We are Lance and Susan from the United States. We live near the city of Chicago. We are here in your beautiful country to adopt Ba Shu Ting as our daughter. She was born in Hunan, and her name will be Rachel Shu-Ting.

We want her to learn as much as she can about China and its rich history and culture so that she will always be proud that she is Chinese.

We promise to love Rachel Shu-Ting always. Her older brother, older sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins are all eagerly waiting to welcome her into our family.

Thank you for the kindness you have shown us.

Lance and Susan

(Xie Xie -- thank you -- to Bor-Jenq for doing us this favor).