Thursday, June 08, 2006

Dreaming of baby

I dreamed the other night that the social worker dropped off our baby unexpectedly one evening. It was a Thursday, and I was a little irritated because I didn't know what I was going to do with her on Friday. "Who's going to watch her?" I kept fuming at Lance. "There's no way I can take tomorrow off work with so little notice." When nighttime came, we put her in her crib -- in the garage. The next morning I went to check on her and found the crib had rolled outside the garage (and of course we were at the old family home in Brentwood, where the house was at the top of a very steep hill that the crib was just about to roll down). I was a little disturbed at that, but then I had a great idea: "Why don't we put her crib in our room tonight?" And no, I have no idea why we didn't just put her in the fully prepared room that you've been seeing photos of for four or five months now!

People will interpret your dreams for you in all kinds of ways. It was clear to me that I have anxiety about not being prepared, but Lance said that was because HE hasn't done his part yet and I'm worried about that (I have given him a list of tasks, of course). One of the other women in my travel group says it's very clear that my dream means our referrals will be here soon. Maybe I'm just afraid I won't be prepared to care for an infant -- I've had back pain all week. Or maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't eat dinner so late at night!

Whatever the meaning, I'd just like to say that I AM READY. When we first realized this process was being delayed, I didn't mind too much because it was holiday time and I had a lot of things to keep me busy in the "extra" time. But now the room is fixed up, I have bought many of the supplies I'll need, and I am ready to get on with this! We're at the stage where I've done most of what I can do before we get our referral information and I know how old she is, how big she is, and where and when we'll be traveling. At that point, I'll be in a tizzy again, but for now we wait.

The good news is that our agency is still telling us to expect our referral by the end of July. It doesn't seem to me that that's very likely, given the slow pace the last few months, but I'll go with what they tell me! Meanwhile, I'm trying not to wish the months away. I'm going to try to catch up on my sleep, do some reading, and spend some time alone with my husband (who DOES still have a list of things to do, but most of them also don't need to be done until after referral).

I hope to have news soon, so check back often.

P.S. to Debi: Have a GREAT trip to China next week; you'll know I wish I was there!

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