I reject your terms . . .

A couple of weeks ago, Ting Ting had cold symptoms and a fever. I was worried that she might have an ear infection (turns out she didn't), so I took her in to see the doctor.

The doctor, quite sensibly, wanted to look at her ears. Ting Ting was quite determined not to let her. After a couple of attempts to get a look as I tried in vain to hold that wiggling, screaming toddler still, the doctor had an idea.

"Do you want a sticker?" she asked Ting Ting. She pulled a stack out of her pocked and rifled through them, pulling out one with a familiar red face. "How about Elmo? Do you like Elmo?"

A big grin lit up Ting Ting's face, and the crying stopped immediately.

"Elmo!" she shrieked happily, gazing at her prize. She looked up at me and pointed happily to the sticker.

"Elmo! Elmo! ELMO!"

So the doctor made another attempt at the ear.

Screaming. Wailing. Gnashing of teeth.

"Do you like the sticker?" the doctor asked. "You need to be still so I can look in your ear."

Then she upped the ante.

"I tell you what -- if you let me look in the other ear, too, I'll give you another one. How about that? Two ears, two stickers!"

Ting Ting looked at the Elmo sticker. Then she looked at the instrument the doctor was trying to use on her ear. She looked at the sticker again.

Then she handed the Elmo sticker back to the doctor.