Great news today!

The China Center of Adoption Affairs announced it has matched babies with families whose dossiers were logged in through June 28. That means that:

1) They covered more dates than they have in any month since February.

2) I feel good about our chances for a referral in August.

Things can change, of course. Anybody who wants to hear my detailed analysis of statistics and theories is welcome to call or e-mail me . . . but the bottom line is that this is TERRIFIC news. I am getting excited at the thought that we might see our daughter's face in as little as 8 or 9 weeks.

Waiting hopefully,

Susan

Twenty things

Now that our expected 6-to-7-month wait for a referral has doubled, I'm in an unfamiliar position: I've nearly run out of items to check off on my to-do list! So I started a new list of the things I’ve been doing to prepare. I hope you’ll offer some suggestions, too:

1) Carrying the cat around the house in my new baby carrier.

2) Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Washed down with Diet Coke.

3) Scheduling big events several months out in the hope that it'll cause our referral to come faster. If I pay $130 for theater tickets, I’ll be heading to China by then, right?

4) Taking Lauren to see "Wicked." Two weeks ago.

5) Looking up the lyrics to sappy love songs that I think could be the sound track for our adoption video, and then humming them incessantly (current favorite: "I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You.")

6) Sudoku. I've worked so many puzzles that I ended up winning the $50 first prize in a contest for Tribune employees. (Tomorrow, the world!).

7) Putting pieces of quilt squares in a scrapbook with the beautiful notes you've written our daughter (HINT HINT to some of you).

8) Pondering important life questions such as "why do babies need special wash cloths?"

9) Retail therapy -- No matter what season she comes home, she’ll wear onesies, right? So how could I resist the two that say (in Chinese characters) "I love Daddy," and "I love Mommy?"


10) Stashing reading glasses in key spots around the house so if she needs medication in the middle of the night I'll be able to read the labels.

11) Staring at kids at Target (particularly Asian babies).

12) Editing stories at work and then vowing she'll never go on the internet, she can't get a driver's license until she's 21, and no boys will be allowed within a 10-mile radius of our house.

13) Full-size highchair vs. portable booster seat: Discuss.

14) Organizing a mid-July picnic with the other members of our Sunny Ridge July dossier group (see item #3).

15) E-mailing new friends around the country who understand the following acronyms: DTC, LID, CCAA, TA. Oh, and PITA.

16) Writing thank-you notes for quilt squares on my beautiful red "xie xie" notes (Haven't gotten yours yet? Send in your quilt square!)

17) Buying baby nail clippers that have an attached magnifier (see item #10).

18) Practicing reading out loud the kids' books I have bought -- especially the ones on adoption -- without breaking down (I dare you to get through "Mommy Far, Mommy Near." I haven’t yet).

19) Figuring out how many diapers $50 will buy (see item #6)

20) Taking long baths. Sleeping. Sitting in a spotless, quiet house and realizing it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Dreaming of baby

I dreamed the other night that the social worker dropped off our baby unexpectedly one evening. It was a Thursday, and I was a little irritated because I didn't know what I was going to do with her on Friday. "Who's going to watch her?" I kept fuming at Lance. "There's no way I can take tomorrow off work with so little notice." When nighttime came, we put her in her crib -- in the garage. The next morning I went to check on her and found the crib had rolled outside the garage (and of course we were at the old family home in Brentwood, where the house was at the top of a very steep hill that the crib was just about to roll down). I was a little disturbed at that, but then I had a great idea: "Why don't we put her crib in our room tonight?" And no, I have no idea why we didn't just put her in the fully prepared room that you've been seeing photos of for four or five months now!

People will interpret your dreams for you in all kinds of ways. It was clear to me that I have anxiety about not being prepared, but Lance said that was because HE hasn't done his part yet and I'm worried about that (I have given him a list of tasks, of course). One of the other women in my travel group says it's very clear that my dream means our referrals will be here soon. Maybe I'm just afraid I won't be prepared to care for an infant -- I've had back pain all week. Or maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't eat dinner so late at night!

Whatever the meaning, I'd just like to say that I AM READY. When we first realized this process was being delayed, I didn't mind too much because it was holiday time and I had a lot of things to keep me busy in the "extra" time. But now the room is fixed up, I have bought many of the supplies I'll need, and I am ready to get on with this! We're at the stage where I've done most of what I can do before we get our referral information and I know how old she is, how big she is, and where and when we'll be traveling. At that point, I'll be in a tizzy again, but for now we wait.

The good news is that our agency is still telling us to expect our referral by the end of July. It doesn't seem to me that that's very likely, given the slow pace the last few months, but I'll go with what they tell me! Meanwhile, I'm trying not to wish the months away. I'm going to try to catch up on my sleep, do some reading, and spend some time alone with my husband (who DOES still have a list of things to do, but most of them also don't need to be done until after referral).

I hope to have news soon, so check back often.


P.S. to Debi: Have a GREAT trip to China next week; you'll know I wish I was there!

Baby Steps

On Tuesday, the China Center of Adoption Affairs announced it had matched children with families whose dossiers were logged in by June 15, 2005. The newest referrals are arriving now at adoption agencies, and many families are seeing their children's faces for the first time. If you'd like to see some of the referrals, go to this page.

We really hope it won't be too much longer before we can share our child's photo with you, but it sometimes gets discouraging. The CCAA matched only 5 days' worth of dossiers in March and 7 days in April. Matching 9 days' worth in May was an improvement, but a small one. If they keep matching at this pace, it will take another four or five months to get to our dossier, which was logged in on July 25. We do think it will speed up a bit in coming months; we're just going to have to be patient. Meanwhile, please enjoy looking at the other referral photos so you can share in the families' joy.

Preview of coming attractions

One of the ways we adoptive parents-in-waiting pass the time is to follow (OK, obsessively read) other parents' web sites or web logs. One of the moms from our agency's May group has given me permission to post this link so you can see her brand-new daughter, Miss Genevieve (Gigi) YuMi Irwin.

Michelle and her husband, Dave, received Gigi's referral information at the end of April, when their daugther was less than 7 months old! They should be traveling to China in the next month or two, so if you check their blog from time to time, you'll get a preview of what we'll be doing in just a couple of months. They plan to post updates from China (as we hope to do when we go!).

The referral photos are always kind of funny to me because the poor little babies are usually so bundled up that you can barely see their sweet faces. Gigi was only three months old in her referral photo, and the clothes she is wearing just swallow her up. You'll notice she's propped up on some kind of inflatable toy chair; at least one other family in that group has a photo of their own daughter in the same chair.

One thing our agency does differently from most others is that they will not give families photos of their children until all the information that comes with them has been translated. The reason for this is that they strongly recommend you have a doctor look over the medical information so you can make a good decision on whether to accept the referral. They figure if you've been staring at the photo for a week first, you'll be madly in love and unable to hear what the doctor might tell you. I think they're right, but I also think it is going to drive me crazy to have to wait a week or 10 days to see her face! We will get her name, birth date, and where she lives right away, though, and that will give us enough information to shout from the rooftops!

I also want to share another blog with you. I don't know these people at all, but I love reading about their beautiful twins. I especially recommend you look at the March 4 entry so you can click on the video and get a great laugh. I've watched that video over and over; it really keeps my spirits up, and I think you'll enjoy it.

You can find other web sites or blogs fairly easily if you search, and it is interesting to read other families' experiences. But keep an eye on Gigi and her parents for a great preview of our next few months!

Thanks for waiting with us!

Little bits of news

The day after I returned home from my visit with Debi in Washington, our social worker, Bernie, came by to recheck our house for our foster care license. There wasn't much business to conduct as far as that went; we still have smoke detectors and indoor plumbing, and we know we need to babyproof the house before we travel. I did get to show off the baby's room, which was still a guest room a year ago when she visited our house for the home study.

Bernie liked the room, and she was glad to hear of some of the preparations we are making, such as taking the CPR class and learning some basic Chinese. She also offered sympathy for our long wait, but not much new information. When I told her we were gearing up for a July referral and September travel, she said that sounded like a "reasonable expectation." I know that probably doesn't sound like much encouragement, but our agency is very conservative in what they tell waiting parents, so I was cheered that she didn't try to tell me she thought I was aiming too high!

The Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs tends to release referrals in a big batch around the end of each month, so it's likely to be another 10 days to 2 weeks before we know anything about the next group. The CCAA has matched babies with families whose paperwork was received as of June 6; our paperwork was logged in July 25. So we'll have a better idea how much longer we'll be waiting once we see how many days worth of dossiers they include in the next bunch (I know I'm sounding like a broken record, but it's all I have right now!)

Since my last report, we've learned that our agency's May group's referrals are of children living in the Jiangxi province and ranging in age from 7 months to one year. I have seen photos of three of them so far, and they are absolutely beautiful (of course). The youngest ones were born in October, and the photos were taken in January, so they are tiny little things (even though they're bundled up so much they look like the Michelin man!). Some parents got updated information in the last few days, so they can see how the babies are growing and try to figure out what size clothing and diapers they'll need. Once the parents sign on the dotted line to accept the child referred to them, they begin a round of preparations for the trip of a lifetime! They'll have another travel meeting and will start buying supplies and trying to cram it all into suitcases that weigh no more than 40 pounds (the limit for in-China flights). Sunny Ridge will get consulate appointments for them, which will determine when they travel. Once they receive permission from the government to travel, they'll make flight arrangments and get their visas and could be on their way very quickly. It looks like they'll be traveling before the end of June, and we wish them a blessed journey.

Meanwhile, we're anxiously awaiting our turn! I'm always pleased when I see someone has signed our guest book (EDITED -- In the new format, "when I see someone has left a comment", so thanks to everyone who has done that. As we get closer to our trip, we'll update more often, so please keep an eye on us!

Happy Spring!

I can hardly believe May is here already! When we mailed our documents out in July, we fully expected to be home with our little one by now, but you all are well aware that we're not . . . I still think we're about three months away from a referral (then another two months to travel), but I could be wrong. There's nothing to do but wait and see!

People keep asking the reason for the wait, and we can really only guess at it. It does appear, though, that two things are happening 1) a larger number of people than usual applied to adopt from China in the months before we did and 2) there are fewer babies eligible and ready to be adopted, possibly because improving economic conditions means fewer babies are abandoned, and more likely because officials are taking more time and care with the paperwork. Either way, we are assured we WILL have our baby -- we just don't know when. You'll all just have to be patient with us!

The Chinese government just last week announced it had matched babies with folks whose dossiers were logged in by June 6 (we were logged in July 25). The best news about this is that the folks in our agency's May dossier group -- whose documents were logged in June 2 -- have now been matched with their babies. We are SO THRILLED for these families, who really were hit hard by the delays. We're hearing that some of the babies are as young as 6-7 months old, which is exciting news for us, too. We are hoping for an infant, too, but are worried that we are growing older along with our paperwork!

Meanwhile, I decided to take a few days off work for a little vacation. I'm visiting my friend Debi in Spokane, and we're having a wonderful time. I should return to Naperville later this week fully recharged and ready to go back to work.

Passing the time

My friend Cory is right when she says in the guest book that this is the longest labor on record (I won't talk about the delivery yet!). Actually, people adopting from China in the past have had waits as long as a couple of years; we're grateful that we don't expect ours to be that bad. And a few years ago, the SARS outbreak caught some parents in between referral photos and travel, delaying their trips for many weeks. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have a travel delay after we'd already seen our little one's picture!

While we wait, though, we've had some nice surprises. First of all, my smart and talented friend Adrienne Frank -- who creates beautiful purses by hand when she's not working full time or pursuing her master's degree -- has named a purse for me! You can see it here.

Be sure you read the cute description of "my" purse. I've already ordered two -- one for myself and one to save for Rachel. If you don't like "my" design, you'll probably find something else you'll like in her many beautiful designs.

And speaking of fortune cookies (they're all over the purse), a recent cookie contained a special fortune for me: "Be prepared to receive something special." I am, I am! I thought it was a really nice fortune because we are waiting for a beautiful child. However, because we were visiting with my family, they automatically added "in bed" to the fortune and got a good laugh. (My nephew's fortune said, "you are good with your hands").

When we went to Brentwood I took some more quilt pieces to my mother, and she showed me some from our Alabama relatives that I hadn't yet seen. We had a fun time looking through them all (but we still need more -- please send yours in if you haven't yet!!!) and figuring out how they would go together. I even cut some pieces so she can start making blocks, but we saved a some pieces to see if they would go better with something that hasn't yet come in (that's another hint!). We have more than 60 pieces so far, collected over five months' time. Yet, as I held up each one, I could tell my mother who contributed it, and I could tell her a story about that person. So please know that each piece has a special place in my heart; I am enjoying putting your cards and letters in Rachel's memory book so she'll know all about you, too.

I've also been passing the time by decorating her room. I bought some shelves and painted them and hung them up, and I have spelled out her name in colorful letters above her crib. I posted new photos of the room as it looks now. I really love the room; it's cheerful and soothing. The only thing I don't like about it right now is that it's too quiet!

A new batch of referals should be in the mail by the end of the week, so I hope to have an update for you soon on our expected timing.

Waiting and learning

Lance and I spent the morning at an infant/child CPR course, learning all kinds of skills we hope we NEVER use! It was frightening enough to practice dislodging an imaginary piece of food from the throat of a plastic infant, but if we're ever confronted with an emergency, maybe we'll remember enough of the steps to help.

Right now I feel like flying to China to give CPR to some of the folks in the matching room! The CCAA did in fact match only five days' worth of dossiers in all of March, so we're kind of stalled right now. We expect that the Sunny Ridge families whose dossiers were logged in on June 2 will get their referrals at the end of this month or first of May, which means they waited 11 months for their child's photo. If we follow that same timeline, we can expect our referral in late June, which means we'll travel by the end of August. That estimate could change with the next batch of referrals, so stay tuned.

We've all heard the saying that good things come to those who wait. We know we're going to have a very special gift to celebrate this Thanksgiving season.

Patiently yours,
Susan and Lance

Waiting for Spring

When I took Ethel out this morning I saw two robins playing in the snow. That's March in Chicago for you! The calendar may say Spring, but we had an inch of snow last night (and flurries right now). When I saw the robins, I thought of how when we started this process we expected to be traveling "in the spring." Later, we amended that to say we expected our referral information "in the spring." Well, spring's not here yet, and neither is our referral. And the news from China this week is disheartening.

The latest rumors (which appear to be solid) are that the China Center of Adoption Affairs' next batch of referrals will cover those dossiers logged in only through May 30. That means that in a full (long) month of work, the CCAA matched FIVE DAYS worth of dossiers. It makes you wonder why they can't move some of the workers from the review room (where they already are working on September dossiers) into the matching room! As disheartening as it is for those of us whose dossiers were logged in July 25 to know we're going to be waiting longer, it's much worse for the Sunny Ridge families immediately ahead of us -- their dossiers were mailed May 24 and logged in June 3. Those people expected to have their referrals in this batch for sure; our hearts go out to them.

One theory as to why China had so many applications in the months preceeding ours is that some other countries unexpectedly closed down to international adoptions, and families who were preparing to send a dossier to Russia, for example, switched over to China. One big advantage to adopting from China is that there is a central agency overseeing the adoptions and a set procedure that everyone follows. So while we don't know how long it will take, we know for sure that we WILL get a child. And we will get that referral right after the folks whose dossiers were logged in on July 24 get theirs. Someone joked that she imagined all the July dossiers sitting in the matching room covered with coffee rings, and that may be the case. But eventually we will be at the top of the pile!

You all know that I'm a "planner," so I could handle a very long wait if I just KNEW how long it was going to be! But we can't always understand God's timing. Last fall as I planted some tulip bulbs, I thought about how pretty the yard would be when they bloomed in April or so. I imagined we'd be home with the baby by then and the tulips would be a welcome home bouquet. Well, that's not going to happen this year. But the good thing about the tulips is I know they'll be a cheerful presence in our lives for many springs to come -- just as we expect our daughter to be.

Now we're making progress!

Yes, I realize I just posted last night to say we're waiting . . . and waiting, but now I have some good news! When I checked the website this morning for the China Center of Adoption Affairs, I found this update:

"The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before July 31, 2005."

Those of you who are keeping track will know why I was so excited to see this note -- our dossier was logged in to the CCAA on July 25. That means our dossier has been checked, our documents are in order, and WE HAVE MOVED TO THE MATCHING ROOM!

Sorry to shout, but this is exciting. Just knowing that we're in "the room" means we're that much closer to having our baby here with us. The last batch of referrals covered the dossiers logged in as of May 25, so they still have 60 days worth of matches to make before they get to us. So even though we're in the room, we're at the bottom of what is probably a very large stack. I still expect we will get our referral no sooner than April, but WE ARE IN THE MATCHING ROOM! We are inching closer!

We can't wait to see our daughter for the first time -- stay tuned, and we'll introduce you to her here!

Still waiting

We were disappointed last week when the China Center of Adoption Affairs updated its website to say that families whose dossiers were logged in through May 25 had been matched with their children. We're very happy for all those families, of course, but we were hoping the CCAA would get through more than 12 days' worth of dossiers in a month of matching. Even taking into account the Chinese New Year holiday, which shut down the office for a week, that's slow going.

The internet is full of rumors, of course. Some say the CCAA is likely to speed up with the matches soon, because they've just finished processing a couple of "big" months. Others speculate that the slowdown will continue -- our social worker is in that group. She told me this week that the CCAA keeps receiving more and more applications, but there are limits on how many children can be placed for adoption. That doesn't mean we won't get a baby; it just means that we will have to wait a little longer than we thought.

So we're waiting!

Our social worker speculates that with a log-in date of July 25, we could see a referral around the end of May. That would mean we would travel in July. It'll be incredibly hot, but I guess all those years in Phoenix have prepared me. I'm holding out for April, of course, but there's not a darn thing I can do about when the CCAA will make its decision, so I am learning patience.

One thing keeping my spirits up during the wait is seeing all the contributions to the 100 Good Wishes Quilt -- have you contributed your square yet? If not, you have plenty of time, and we urge you to participate! Read here for all the details.

Show us the baby!

We're starting to get a little antsy about this wait. When we began this process we expected to have our referral by now and be preparing for travel, but instead we're still at least a month (and perhaps two) away from getting any information about our daughter at all. Waiting is really difficult. Lance has even started having bizarre dreams (not that dreaming that we went to China and found out our baby was a 2-year-old boy who spoke English and was a drug runner is that bizarre, really).

Our first travel meeting didn't yield any more information about how soon we can expect a referral. The social workers are all very careful not to say anything that you'll stress over! We are getting closer, though. We learned about all kinds of things at the meeting, like what not to take photos of, how to dress, and what yuan (Chinese money) look like. We also learned that our "log-in date" is July 25. That means that when we check the internet for rumors or look at the Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs' web site, we get a true idea of how our dossier is moving (creeping) through the process. It does appear they've almost finished reviewing July dossiers, so we hope to be in the matching room soon!

You can see that we've got a good start on turning our guest room into our baby's room. My friend Debi was here last month, and she helped me paint the walls a beautiful yellow (and she helped me get a whole lot of that yellow paint out of the carpet after I dripped -- OK, poured -- it there). She and I went out to buy the crib and changing table, and Lance put them together. Lance and I moved the "grownup" furniture out of that room. The latest addition is the beautiful glider my parents bought us last weekend when they were visiting. I love that chair so much that I've gone into the room several times just to sit and rock. The only problem is that makes me wish the baby were here to enjoy it!

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we wait -- we know the perfect child will be matched with us, so we're trying to be patient!

It's getting closer!

We have some great news -- our adoption agency has scheduled our first travel preparation meeting for next Thursday. We see this as a sign that the agency expects us to receive our referral soon, because we don't think they'd want to risk us forgetting all the important information they give us! This meeting will prepare us for receiving our referrals and also give us some basic information such as what we'll need to take to China, what we shouldn't pack, things we can expect to do or see on the trip, cultural issues, that sort of thing. We'll have our second meeting after we get a travel date to go over our exact itinerary and other instructions.

Our travel group includes 10 other families whose dossiers were mailed with ours on July 13. We met most of our travel mates at a pre-adoption seminar we attended last fall; we exchanged e-mail addresses and some basic information then. In the succeeding months we have run into each other at events like the agency picnic or the Chinese New Year celebration, and we have exchanged occasional e-mails wondering HOW MUCH LONGER we'll have to wait! Not only will we be sharing a life-altering experience with these other families, but they'll be our support system in the years to come -- many travel groups continue to get together periodically after bringing their daughters home.

One of the reasons we chose this agency, Sunny Ridge Family Center, is because of the support they give adoptive parents during this trip. For one thing, the entire travel group will take the entire journey together. That may sound basic, but many agencies have the families make their own arrangements and meet up with each other after they arrive in China. Another thing we really like is that a social worker from Sunny Ridge will take the entire trip with us. Not only will we have someone with us who has made the trip previously, but he or she will be experienced in helping parents and their babies bond in those crucial first few days together. In China, we'll also travel with a man named Bill who is employed by our agency and lives and works in China.

Sunny Ridge wisely has us spend a few days sight-seeing when we first arrive in the country. This is to give us time to adjust to the time change and to learn more about this beautiful country where our daughter was born. After that, we'll travel to the province where our daughters are living. Often, all the referalls for one group are of children from the same welfare institute, which means we continue to travel together. If the children are from two different places, we'll split up to travel to those two provinces, with the social worker staying with one group and Bill with the other. We will spend about a week in the province, actually completing the adoption there. Then we'll head south to Guangzhou, where we'll do some more paperwork to get visas to bring our daughters home. We'll also have time for more sight-seeing, shopping, and just spending time together as a family.

You can tell we're excited, and we're eager to start our preparations. I'll share details with you as we know them. Most importantly, we should be getting word on our daughter in a month or two, and you'll be able to read it here first! So keep us (and the Chinese officials) in your thoughts and prayers as we await this news.

The photo is from the Chinese New Year celebration on Jan. 29. I WILL post photos of the baby's room, just as soon as we move some extra furniture out of there and get it arranged!

Good news/bad news

The Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs recently posted the following information on its web site:

"The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office in June 2005.

The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before May 13, 2005."

Our agency mailed our dossier on July 13, 2005, which means we were "logged in" in late July or early August. So the good news for us is that all the documents received in July should be in the "review room" now. That means we'll be hearing from the CCAA in the next few weeks if they need any clarification or more information on our documents. After that, the documents move to the "matching room," which is where officials will determine which specific child will be joining our family. So, for the next few weeks at least, no news is good news.

The other bit of good news is that after a bit of a slowdown in processing the adoptions, the CCAA sent out two batches of referrals in January. At the time we sent in our dossier, the CCAA was rather consistently referring children in 6 months. But the pace slowed a bit in November and December, when referrals were made less often and covered maybe two weeks' worth of dossiers at a time instead of a full month's worth. Two batches of referrals in January (with the last one covering three weeks' worth of dossiers) means it's picking up again, though, which is good news for all the waiting families. We rejoice as each child is matched with her family. And our match moves closer with each one! At this pace, we're hopeful of receiving our referral by the end of April, maybe even sooner. So that's great news!

The only bad news is that the CCAA is now shutting down for the Chinese New Year holiday, which means we won't have any more news for several weeks. But hard-working people deserve time off to celebrate with own families, and we're told that the referral pace often picks up a bit after the holiday, so maybe that's not such bad news after all.

Xin Nian Kuai Le ("Happy New Year"), everybody! The Year of the Dog in China is The Year of the Daughter in our household, and that's the best news of all.

Quilt news

Several people have asked lately if it's "too late" to donate fabric for the 100 Good Wishes Quilt. The answer is no! You still have time to contribute, and we hope you'll please, please do so! (See Oct. 15 entry for details on how to do it).

I put a new photo on our welcome page (EDITED -- I mean, right here!) to show you just a few of the fabric donations we've gotten in the last week -- you can see that the quilt will have many interesting colors and designs. In addition to the ones shown, we have received a Notre Dame jersey, the skirt to a Brownie uniform and some Star Wars fabric, just to name a few.

When you contribute, please send in a wish for the baby, too, so she can look through her scrapbook years from now and see who donated which piece. You can use your note to explain why you picked the fabric you did, if you want, or it can just contain a few words expressing hope for her future. If you go to the photo section(EDITED: right here), you'll see the letters from niece Candace and nephew Casey.

Organizing the quilt and working on the scrapbook keep me occupied while we're waiting for word of our referral. I'm touched by all the letters, and I just love seeing new donations come in. So if you haven't done your part, get busy! (I mean, "please give it thoughtful consideration.")

I was off work for two days last week while my dear friend Debi was in town helping me prepare for the baby in other ways (as well as bringing SIX PIECES of fabric, one representing each member of her family). We accomplished much while she was here -- check back in a few days for photos and news of the baby's room.

Happy New Year!

In a month I'll be wishing you happy new year again when Chinese New Year (the Year of the Dog) rolls around. Last year Lance, the kids and I all went to a local Chinese New Year celebration and had a blast. We had just turned in our application to adopt and had talked on the phone with the social worker who was to do our home study. Our first appointment was that very week. Lance and I bought sweatshirts for the Year of the Rooster, believing our daughter will likely be a Rooster, as is her big sister Lauren. We bought the kids beautiful silk jackets that they'll likely wear again this year. We want to make it a family tradition; next year we hope to go back with the little one.

The quilt squares have started rolling in, and we're really thrilled with them. I get so excited with each one! I know a lot of you are stressing about how to word your wish -- stop it! I'm not going to edit them, I promise! Your written wish can be as simple as a word or two and your signature. One friend drew a beautiful bouquet of flowers and wrote, "bloom!" Think of something you'd wish for our child and write it down, and please don't obsess about it so that it stops you from taking part in this wonderful project.

As the wait for a referral gets shorter, I'll try to update the site more frequently. I postponed this update for awhile because I was hoping to post a photo of Lance and the kids wearing their Christmas gifts -- sweatshirts with the Chinese characters for "Dad," "older sister" and "older brother." But of course I couldn't get them to wear them all on the same day until about the last day of their vacation -- and then I couldn't get them together for a photo. So maybe for Chinese New Year, huh?

Thanks for checking in, and we hope to have some exciting news before long!

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

We're ready for Christmas at our house -- we have the tree up and decorated, the stockings hung, the presents wrapped, the Christmas carols playing. All we're waiting for now is children! Lauren and Brandon will be here Christmas day, but the little one won't be arriving until spring. Still, we have a stocking up for her, as you can see -- plus stockings for the four of us and the three animals. It's difficult knowing that our daughter is all the way over in China instead of here with us, but we have a feeling we'll be making up for that next year!

Originally we told you that we expected to have our referral -- that's the photos and basic information about our baby -- by late January or early February. Things in China have slowed down a bit, so now we're thinking it'll be March before we have a glimpse of her (and likely May before we travel). Our agency tells us that in the 11 years that they've been helping people adopt babies from China, the wait times have ranged from three months to 2 1/2 years! So they -- and we -- still think that a nine-month wait from our dossier being sent over until we have her in our arms isn't that bad. Those of you who have biological children had to wait the same amount of time, after all.

It's hard to tell why the wait times have slowed down a month or two since we applied, but it appears that the Chinese government received an unusually large number of dossiers in March, April and May. Ours was sent in July, so all the ones ahead of us have to be matched with babies before we get our turn. So the same number of children are being adopted, it's just taking a little longer because there are more people in line. And for all we know, it could speed up again next month for no particular reason. We'll keep you posted on what we know.

We hope you all have the merriest of Christmases and a blessed new year!

Susan and Lance

P.S -- Don't forget to send your contribution for the quilt! (you didn't think I'd forget that, did you?)

The Quilt is Under Way!

The photo on our home page (EDITED: photo now unavailable) is of the first piece of fabric for our baby’s 100 Good Wishes Quilt (see Oct. 15 entry for details on how to contribute).

My coworker Grace Aduroja gave this piece of cloth to me; it comes all the way from Nigeria. Grace’s parents are from Nigeria, too, so she wanted her contribution to be from that part of the world. She’s promised to get her good wish for the baby to me on Monday (she’s a reporter, so she has trouble writing when she’s not on deadline!)

Some people have asked if we want to use a certain color scheme in our quilt. The answer is no --we want everyone to contribute something they like, and then we’ll see what we have! The more colors and patterns in the fabrics, the more beautiful (and unique!) the quilt will be.

Members of both families are coming to our house Thursday for a big Thanksgiving meal. One member of our family is still in China, of course, but we give thanks for her all the same. We wish you all a blessed Thanksgiving as well.

Baby talk

When I say I'm taking a beginning Mandarin class, many people ask me, with a bit of surprise in their voices, "How old will this child be?" I tell them I'm not learning Chinese to communicate with the baby as much as I'm preparing for our trip next spring. I'm also preparing to raise a child who -- we hope -- will be proud of her birthplace.

Learning a foreign language teaches you a lot about the people who speak it. Our teacher, who once worked as a translator, has traveled extensively throughout China and has many interesting tales of the people he knows. He has taught us a lot about Chinese culture and history even as he makes sure we can order wine or ask where the bathroom is. He has videotapes of Chinese soap operas, newscasts and variety shows that he plays before the beginning of class each week. It's quite the education!

On the other hand, I also am learning the language partly so I can say things to the baby in the only language she has ever heard. Even though the day she is placed in our arms will be one of the happiest days of our lives, it could be terrifying for our little girl. She will be taken from the only home she has ever known, from the only people she has ever known, and given to strangers who don't look, smell or sound familiar -- and then we'll take her halfway around the world. Maybe it'll help if I can say a few things to her that sound familiar.

To answer the original question, though, we've been told to expect that our daughter will be about a year old when we travel to get her. But there is always a chance we could be referred a 2- or 3-year-old. Our social worker says the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs usually will give infants to couples younger than 46, and Lance and I are both 45. But we can't be sure of her age until we get that letter and photo -- if she is 2 or 3, it'll be too late to start learning her language! What I do know, though, is that the little one entrusted to us will be the perfect one. Lance and I both are certain of that.

If any of you are interested in learning a few phrases, you can check out this site. It has all kinds of expressions, from "are you hungry?" to "I love you," and you can click on a little icon to hear someone say each phrase for you. It's a little difficult to read the words because they have the numbers 1-4 after them to indicate the tone used for each word, but you'll have to listen to the voice anyway because, trust me, the words don't sound anything like you'll expect! (Special note to Grandpa: One phrase you might find particularly useful is, "No, you may not date until you are 35!")

Zaijian,
Susan

P.S. -- Please participate in our quilt project! Read the Oct. 15 entry for details!