Friday, August 25, 2006

Oh, well. What's another month?

The Rumor Queen herself was stunned yesterday when people started posting news of referrals. We didn't even have a hint they were on the way! You can just imagine what a basket case I was at work, thinking that we might be in the group. But as the hours wore on and more and more folks reported in, we began to realize (with a sickening feeling) that CCAA had matched only 9 calendar days' worth of dossiers. The CCAA still has not updated its site, but it's clear today that the referrals only went through July 22 log-in dates. We were logged in July 25. That means we have to wait until the end of September for news.

We missed the cutoff by three stinking days.

I know many of you are genuinely distressed at this news, and you will want to offer us support and comfort. I apreciate that more than you can know; you have been more than kind to us, and I know you'll be as excited as we are when it is finally our turn. So I don't want to be disrespectful or ungrateful when I say this, but please don't tell me one of these things today:

1) At least you know you're next! No, I don't. I can't believe it until it happens.
2) When you get Rachel, you'll know she was "the one" and you'll be glad you had to wait until she was ready. I know this is true. I'll probably post this sentiment myself in just a week or two. But I'm sure you'll understand why, at least today, that is no comfort at all.

I'm grieving right now. In a couple of days I'll be fine, but right now I'm just miserable. I myself offered those bits of comfort to other people in previous months, but now I understand. I'll be OK, but today I just need to feel sorry for myself.

Some of my friends in the July group got referral calls yesterday, and many are eagerly anticipating them today. You can see the referrals on our group's web page. The babies are exceptionally beautiful this month, but I say that every time. We all know that next month's referrals will be the MOST beautiful of all.

1 comment:

Adrienne said...

not saying a word...

just sending good thoughts and a big, virtual hug your way...