Got wisdom?

I've been preparing for this adoption for a long time. I've learned some Mandarin, studied Chinese culture, armed myself to face attachment issues. I've typed my packing lists and devoured other people's trip blogs. I can tell you what the weather is right now in Yueyang.

There's just one problem: I don't know nothin' 'bout raising no babies.

For example -- the burping thing. I know you do that with little bitty babies after you feed them, but at what point do they not need it anymore? I won't have to do that, right? And how am I going to get her to lie still so I can put those adorable red-shoed tights on her? And at what age does she start getting teeth?

I have bought a couple of baby books that I hope will get me through the rough patches, but I need your help with those little things that folks just instinctively know, or things you have discovered through trial and error.

For example, when we were enjoying my baby shower cake at work the other day, I asked each person to share a favorite parenting tip. Here's some of what they came up with:

-- It doesn't matter how recently you fed her, if she wants to eat, feed her again.

-- Desitin. Plenty of Desitin.

-- Get yourself a big stack of onesies unless you want to do laundry every day (or was that every hour?)

-- Never give a toddler salmon

-- She'll be 10 months old? Take everything off the coffee table.

Now it's your turn! What advice do you have for a 46-year-old woman who's about to become a mother for the first time? Help me out by posting a comment.

Meanwhile, I'm off to research the stock prices of whatever company makes Desitin.

Get ready to ooh and aah!

The wonderful folks at work gave me a semi - surprise shower Friday. I say "semi" surprise because they did clue me in just a few days in advance. They were buying me lunch as part of the event, so they decided they needed to be sure I was going to be available that day (oh, yes, I certainly was!)

At lunch they gave me some lovely gifts for Rachel. Look at this beautiful Christmas dress complete with hat and tights. The red shoes with bows are actually part of the tights, so we don't even have to strap on shoes to have her dressed head to toe in seasonal finery!

I can't wait to get her first Christmas photos taken in this adorable outfit. It won't matter if she doesn't have any hair if she's wearing that sweet hat, will it?

For more casual gatherings, Miss Rachel Shu-Ting will be a vision of loveliness in this sweet top with embroidered snowflakes.
She also received two nice books. -- a collection of readings for 1-year-olds, and her very own copy of "Goodnight, Moon." Each person had written a little note to Rachel in the front of "Goodnight, Moon," which will make it that much more special for me in the years to come as we read it over . . . and over . . . and over.

And I can't wait to see her in these bright red corduroy pants. According to the label, they are "boot cut." Don't you love the litle hearts along the bottom and on the back pockets? The details don't show up as well as I'd like in the photos, but trust me, she will be stylin' in these cords.


And at the end of the day, when she's ready to go to sleep, little Ting Ting will still be able to make a statement with these lovely jammies.

I'm blessed to work with such a wonderful group of people. The uncertainty of the past year has been tough on me, and that made the situation difficult for them as well. But they were as excited as anyone when I got that call. They even conspired to get me out of my office that afternoon for just a few minutes so they could string up, "It's a girl" banners, tie pink balloons to my chair and hang up some festive garlands.

I can't wait to bring Rachel by to meet them one day soon -- you know she'll be well-dressed for the occasion!

More progress

We received an exciting bit of news from our agency today. The e-mail message began like this:

"Congratulations are in order for the newest set of parents of some of the most beautiful little girls! It was with great pleasure that we sent the acceptances of your referrals to the China Center of Adoption Affairs on Friday, October 13, 2006. We hope to receive the travel approvals in 2-3 weeks, after which time we can request the United States Consulate appointment and appointments with the local provincial officials in China."

This is a key step in the process: We have to have our travel approval before we can request that important consulate appointment, and the timing of our consulate appointment determines the timing of our trip. So once we get our travel approval, things should move very quickly.

That brings me to my second bit of good news: Travel approvals began arriving today for people who received referrals the same week we did. Those folks sent off their acceptances almost immediately and waited about 2 1/2 weeks for TA. That's pretty quick, but it's even more remarkable when you realize that the CCAA was closed one of those weeks for a national holiday.

So our paperwork is in the mail; this step of the process has begun. And while we've become experienced at waiting, we're hoping we won't need to call on that experience this time. Keep good thoughts for us that we'll have news very soon!

Let me check the calendar again

While I was out for my morning run on Thursday, I began to see white things floating in the air around me. No, it wasn't the aftereffects of my eye injury, it was snow.

On October 12.

The flurries flew like crazy for about 20 minutes after I got back, sticking to our deck and a few bushes, but all the snow had melted by the time I left for work. The white stuff accumulated in other parts of the city, though, making it the Chicago area's earliest measurable snowfall.

I don't suppose Ting Ting has ever seen snow, because the winters in Hunan are quite mild. Sure enough, I checked the Yueyang weather report (look on the right side of the page, near the bottom) and found Thursday was another 70-degree day in her part of the world.

I wondered how she would deal with our infamous winters.

But then I realized that in just a few weeks, our little girl will be taken away from the people who raised her and everything that looks, sounds, tastes and smells familiar. She'll have to learn to trust us, then to love us -- and to let us love her. It'll require an amazing amount of courage and strength from such a tiny baby.

After she deals with that -- and the long flight home -- I suspect it'll take more than a few snowflakes to faze her.


P.S. Happy first birthday to Olivia, another spicy Hunan girl. Her mommy and daddy will be holding her in just a few days! Safe travels to Michelle and Eric.

Princess Ting Ting

Thanks to the commenter who let me know that Disney's Mulan 2 movie features a princess named Ting Ting! I saw the first Mulan movie years ago and loved it, but I haven't seen the sequel. Actress Sandra Oh is the voice of Ting Ting. I'm looking forward to getting a copy for our own little princess.

Yesterday, our agency's update featured news of our group's referrals and also a little info about Yueyang. We have 11 families in our group.

Lance and I have officially accepted our referral of Rachel Shu-Ting. The agency should be returning those acceptances to the CCAA by the end of the week. Our next step is to await travel approval; that should take about a month. But once we receive that, things move very quickly for our trip.

Yes, sir, that's my baby

Here's your opportunity to directly compare Rachel's "finding ad" photo (left) with her referral photo. She was just a few weeks old in the first photo, and she was bundled for the cooler weather, but you can recognize the infant's features in the six-month-old Rachel (right). She is 8 1/2 months old now, and when we bring her home she'll be 10 or 11 months old. I wonder what changes we'll see in her appearance then?

I'm sure Rachel's first days with us will be well-documented -- her daddy's new video camera arrived Friday! -- but the three referral photos and the finding ad photo are likely to be all we'll see of her first few months. We hope her foster family has taken some photos they'll share, but that's very unlikely. Because she wasn't in the orphanage at all, there were no opportunities for visitors to take a shot of her, as sometimes happens. She doesn't even have the opportunity to blog about her daily life. So we'll always wonder about those early days.

From what we know, though, she's happy and healthy and well cared for right now. We feel very fortunate that she is young enough that we can celebrate her first birthday with her here at home -- that's a rare blessing. Overall, we feel humbled and honored that we were chosen to receive this very special gift.

Friday night Lance and I talked with the pediatrician who reviewed Rachel's file for us. He said he saw nothing that concerned him in the medical report, and that she appeared to be on track physically as well as developmentally. Of course, we understand that he has to base that assessment on somewhat sketchy information.

"This is really a leap of faith," he told us. But it's a leap he has taken four times himself.

Now look at this picture of us viewing Rachel's referral photos for the first time in our meeting Friday morning. Do you see any worries or doubts on our faces?

Of course not. We've had our share of worries in the last two years, of course, and we'll face plenty more in the future. But, right this minute, we're getting ready to leap.

Pic of the week!

Guess who is the subject of the "Pic of the Week" on the July Dragonflies home page? We're so proud!

While you're there, be sure to click on the "referrals" link to see all the other beautiful babies.

And for more sweet faces, you can check out some of our travel mates' blogs:
* Chuck and Lynette (baby Dani)
* Jacquie and Mickey

Here she is!

Meet Ba Shu Ting, soon to be known as Rachel Shu-Ting (or "Ting Ting").

These photos were taken in July, when Rachel was about six months old. At that time she weighed 18.7 pounds and was 24.82 inches long.

Ting Ting has been in foster care since she was one day old. The referral report describes her as healthy, and it's no wonder -- we are told she eats six times a day. Mostly she drinks milk "with glucose, bone-strengthening powder and cod-liver oil as supplements," but she also sometimes eats steamed egg or fruit paste. At six months, she's described
as "very lovely and active."

The report says, "she is a sensible child, not crying frequently unless she is hungry or has a wet diaper." That does seem sensible, doesn't it? It says she "loves to play with kids older than herself" (whew!). "When seeing little kids dancing she will also learn to do so," it says, so Brandon is getting ready to teach her some of his moves. When she is happy "she will clap her hands and kick her feet." It says she is trying to stand. "She loves to move around in the walking-assisting-cart," we learned.

And she's already taking after her Daddy: "With toys in her hand, she will try to observe them carefully as though doing some research." (Watch out, Uncle Jerry! She's going to be in your garage looking for help with some broken-down piece of electronics held together with Band-aids).

This is their translation of her name: "Ba is the first character of the ancient name (Ba Ling) of her birth place -- Yueyang County. Shu Ting means to hope that she will have a comfortable environment and a beautiful mind when she grows up."

We won't know our exact travel dates for a few weeks, but we're hoping to spend Thanksgiving in China. Just think how thankful we'll be to pinch those chubby cheecks!

Meanwhile, I'll be at Costco stocking up on bone-strenghening powder and fruit paste.

At last!

We have an appointment at Sunny Ridge this Friday to get Rachel's translated file and her official referral photos! I'm hoping to be able to post the pictures by mid-afternoon. Let's make some guesses on what she looks like: Hair or no hair? Teeny tiny or butterball? Will her referral outfit match her shoes? Will she be smiling in any of the photos, or will they look like they've been shot at the local police station? I can't wait to see!

What's in a name?

We've known for some time that we were going to call our daughter Rachel, but we have been stumped on a middle name. My last name is different from Lance's, so one of the leading contenders was "Rachel (my surname) (Lance's surname)."

But I was hoping to find a way to preserve her Chinese name, if possible -- after all, that's about the only thing she'll bring with her when she joins our family. We were waiting to see what her name was before making a final decision.

Meanwhile, I guess I'm a little superstitious, so I generally referred to her as "The Baby" rather than "Rachel" at first. But more than a year ago, Lance started referring to our future daughter as "Zing Zing." I tried to stop it because it sounded to me like we were making fun of Chinese names. I also was afraid that if "Zing" actually was a Chinese word, it might mean something awful! But Lance persisted, and I couldn't find any words like that in my Mandarin dictionaries, so before too long it became our shorthand. After all, "Zing Zing" had much more personality than "The Baby."

Last week, we were referred a beautiful baby girl named Ba Shu Ting. Ba is the surname given to all the children at Yueyang County Social Welfare Institute. Shu is her "generational" name, and Ting is her individual name. In a traditional Chinese family, all the daughters would have the same generational name -- in this case, it appears that the orphanage used Shu as the generational name for all children who arrived there in 2006. It also is customary in China to double up on the individual name to get a child's nickname, so our daughter likely is already called "Ting Ting."

When Lance and I first looked at the name "Shu Ting," we pronounced it as many of you probably did: "Shoe Ting." We didn't really like the sound, and we almost talked ourselves out of using it, figuring the name had been assigned to her by an orphanage worker and so perhaps didn't have any special meeting. We decided we could use Ting Ting as a nickname even if it wasn't part of her formal name.

But we took the characters to some Mandarin speakers, and guess what? This character for "Shu," meaning "easygoing," is actually pronounced "Sue." The character for Ting means "tall and slender," and it signifies her later transition to womanhood. When Lance and I were talking about it, he reminded me how he asked a different Chinese friend months ago whether there was a Chinese name that sounded like "Zing Zing" -- only Lance spelled it "Tsing Tsing." The friend told him that the closest name to that in Chinese would be -- you guessed it -- Ting Ting. His friend's sister is named Ting Ting, and he said it is a beautiful name for a little girl because it signifies growing into a graceful woman. When a different coworker told Lance the meaning of "Ting" last week, he remembered what his other friend had told him months ago -- likely before our baby was even born.

I'm telling you all this so you will recognize the significance: We were referred a baby girl named "Shu," which sounds like it could be short for "Susan," and "Ting," which we were told months ago is the closest thing to what her daddy already called her.

And so, after much thought and research and marveling at the coincidences, we've decided to name our daughter Rachel Shu-Ting (with Lance's surname). We hope it makes her proud some day -- assuming she doesn't automatically despise it when she turns 12.

*******

I apologize for not updating the last few days; I know you're all eager for news. However, I injured my eye over the weekend and couldn't spend much time at a computer screen until today. The good news is that the eye appears to be healing just fine, and I shouldn't have any long-term effects from the injury. And, no, I really don't want to explain again how it happened!

*******

We're still waiting for an appointment to get Rachel's translated files and more recent photos. Meanwhile, I put Rachel's "finding ad" photo on this entry again because of its sheer beauty.

I'm also attaching a photo of a lovely gift we received from my friend Michelle in Washington in celebration of our referral. It's a T-shirt with a beautiful pro-adoption message in rhinestones.

I call it Ting Ting's Bling.

The first time ever we saw her face

Here's our Rachel.

Isn't she beautiful?

This photo of Ba Shu Ting was taken when she was just a few weeks old, and it was published as part of her "finding ad." The social welfare institutes are required to advertise children in their care before the little ones are declared abandoned and available for adoption.

We heard of an adoptive father who has a business that will search for your ad and provide you with a copy and a translation of the text. It's an important piece of our daughter's life history, so we wanted to get it for her. And, because we won't see her referral photos for another week, it offered us an advance glimpse of her sweet little face. The photo is a bit grainy, but we think her beauty shines through!

It's hard to describe what it was like to see our daughter for the first time. The emotions were overwhelming: I cried with joy at finally knowing who she is, but there were tears of sadness for her birth family, too. Looking at this adorable face and reading how she was dressed and where and when she was found just made my heart ache for the pain that family must have gone through. And I was amazed at how much love I already feel for a tiny little baby in a crib on the other side of the world.

Next week we'll get her referral photos. She will be a few months older in those photos, and they will be clearer and sharper. She might be posed in a chair or a walker or in front of a colorful cartoon mural. We'll make dozens of copies and post them here and send them to our family and friends.

But nothing will ever compare with our first glimpse of Rachel this morning.

Where in the world is Rachel?

Rachel is in the Yueyang County Social Welfare Institute in Hunan. Here is a map showing where Hunan is in China:

And here is a look at where Yueyang is in Hunan:

You can see that Hunan is in the southern part of China, just north of the Guangdong province, and Yueyang is in the northeastern part of Hunan.

Hunan is known for its spicy food, so Rachel should have the same tastes in food as her father and her big sister, Lauren.

Rice, tea and oranges are grown in Hunan. The province is surrounded by mountains on the east, west, and south, and by the Yangtze River on the north.

Hunan is a tropical climate, with warm weather and a lot of humidity most of the year. However, a travel guide tells us: "The best time to visit is in the fall, when temperatures are cooler and the rainfall lighter." It sounds like we planned that just right!

Hunan also is famous for its embroidery and its firecrackers. Chairman Mao was born in Hunan.

I found this photo on the internet of the Yueyang County Social Welfare Institute:

We hope to be able to visit it in person when we're there, but that isn't always allowed.

A few more facts about Rachel:

* All of the babies in her social welfare institute (orphanage) have the surname Ba.

* The character for "Shu" in her name translates to "relaxed."

* The character for "Ting" means "pretty, attractive, graceful."

* We have not yet decided what her full name will be (but we're close!).

* I won't have measurements for another week or so, but Chinese babies traditionally are tiny compared to American children. My guess is that we will be taking 6-9 months clothes to fit her at 10 months old.

* Rachel shares her birthday with Ben Franklin, Al Capone, Maury Povich, Muhammed Ali, Andy Kaufman and Jim Carrey, plus Paul Revere -- the lead singer/organist of "Paul Revere and the Raiders,'' not that other guy (thanks to reporter Ted Gregory for those details).

We're going to be traveling with a dozen other families. We've heard from most of them, and almost all of them have babies from the same orphanage. The age range so far seems to be 6-11 months. So far we know of one couple that will be going to Fujian province instead -- they were referred TWINS! Congratulations to Anne and Alex on their double blessing.

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!

Lance and I are proud to announce the referral of our DAUGHTER!!!!

Her name is Ba Shu Ting. The social worker said she would fax me the characters so I can get a translation . . . Ba would be her surname, Shu Ting her first names.

She was born Jan. 17, 2006 (8 months, one week old TODAY, her father's birthday!).

She's in the Yue Yang County Social Welfare Institute in Hunan province.

I won't have a photo or other details for about a week, but I will post them as soon as I do.

We would expect to travel around Thanksgiving!

WE'RE MATCHED -- it's official!

After I went to bed last night, the China Center of Adoption Affairs posted official notice that they have finished placing children whose families' adoption documents were logged in by Aug. 9. Because we were logged in July 25, that means we have been matched!

As I posted yesterday, the rumors are that the referrals are already in the mail, possibly arriving at adoption agencies as early as today.

Will today be our day? Stay tuned for news of THE CALL!

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LANCE!

We're mere DAYS away!

Well, the Rumor Queen has word from "multiple sources" that referrals were mailed Friday. RQ's loyal subjects have conducted much analysis of previous mailings and DHL routing practices which lead them to believe referral documents could be arriving at agencies as soon as MONDAY! I'm too afraid to hope for Monday, though -- I'm going to think Tuesday so I can keep my sanity (yeah, right).

Speaking of that very special telephone call, I have to tell you what happened Wednesday. I was at work in the middle of the afternoon and thinking to myself that it was just about the time of day that referrals were posted last month when my phone rang. I looked at the Caller ID and saw my adoption agency's phone number. I grabbed it fast and said hello, and my social worker identified herself. I shrieked her name . . . and that's when she realized what she had done. She said, "Ooooh, no, I'm sorry, this isn't THAT call." It turns out that she was just "checking in" as she does every few months, and she didn't think about the fact that it is referral time and I might be expecting THAT news. She apologized about 10 times, but I was shaking and my heart was pounding for about two more hours. She asked how I was doing, and I said, "well, apparently I'm a bit over anxious!" She apologized again.

The folks at work are just as eager as I am for the news. I wrote down the agency's phone number for Nancy, who sometimes picks up my calls, and she has it by her phone so she can be SURE to pick up the call if I'm on another one or in a meeting. When my phone rang Wednesday, she saw the number on caller ID and raced into my office. I had to shake my head at her to send her sadly back to her desk; I think she was as excited as I was, if that was possible.

After all that, do you suppose the actual call will be a letdown? Naaah, I don't, either.

Nancy was one of four guessers in my "Name the Time of the Call" contest, but she picked last Thursday (as I would have, frankly!). The good news for Nancy is that The Call didn't come in on Friday, when she was taking the day off! We have three other guesses for this week, so stay tuned to see who wins the special prize from China . . . oh, and for information on our daughter, of course.

I'll post the news here as soon as I'm able.

Good things come to those who wait

I really can't wait to see our little one in this adorable romper, can you? A member of the July Dragonflies Yahoo! group told the rest of us about it, and I suspect I'm not the only one who ordered one. It probably wasn't designed specifically for adoptive parents; after all, parents who experience a pregnancy have to wait nine whole months to see their child's face.

Ahem.

Ironically, the romper arrived just before we got word that we were going to have to wait at least another month for news. We won't be waiting much longer, though. I have a feeling the referrals will arrive without warning again this month, and something tells me we're very close.

Let's have a little fun today. Post a comment with your prediction of what day and what time we'll receive The Call. Whoever is closest will win a special prize . . . hmmm, what should it be? Tell you what -- I'll pick out something for you in China.

I'll get it while we're there receiving the most special prize of all.

Could this be the week?

This Thursday will mark four weeks since the last batch of referrals, so it's possible we could get The Call this week. Realistically and logically, I think it's more likely to happen next week, but I'm excited all the same. After 14 months of waiting, we're now down to mere days! Keep us in your thoughts and prayers this week.

As preparation, Lance and I visited babies this weekend. On Saturday afternoon, I held our new grand-nephew for the first time. He's not even three weeks old yet, so he slept through our entire visit. That gave Great-Aunt Susan an opportunity to admire him, though. Saturday night we went to dinner at the home of a couple who adopted a baby through Sunny Ridge this summer. Miss Gigi is now 11 months old, and she is a ball of fire! She couldn't bother to sit quietly and be admired -- she had things to do. The great news is that she is happy and healthy and seems to be right on track developmentally. Her parents are very pleased with the care she received at her Social Welfare Institute in China, and they can't imagine her not being a part of their family. It made me really eager to start chasing our own little one around our house!

Anyone have a rumor?

It's awfully quiet on the rumor front the last couple of weeks, so I don't know what to tell you except we're still waiting.

Meanwhile, I got word the other day that my friend Sonja had a litle girl, Ava. Congratulations to Sonja and Doug and big sister Cela!

Cat-astrophe in the making?

You're probably wondering why two people in their mid-40s with demanding careers and two older children would think they should add a baby.

Especially when they can't seem to handle a cat.

Meet Cyrus. He's supposed to be our pet, but he thinks he's in charge.

For one thing, he sees our home as his own personal playground. Nothing is off limits; every apparent obstacle is merely a challenge.

He's not bound by convention. If he wants something (for example, the wristwatch my husband bought me on our honeymoon), he takes it. If he's ready for breakfast, he wakes us up by walking across Lance's clock radio and hitting the exact button that turns on the music. If I'm doing something that displeases him, he tells me about it. Loudly. Sometimes in the middle of the night when I thought I was minding my own business by sleeping.

Yet Lance and I are certain that we are the ones paying the bills.

We pamper this cat way too much. For example, when he came to live with us I ordered him a beautiful set of food and water bowls that match our dishes. The food bowl has the word "empty" on the bottom of it, just in case we don't notice he is in need of food. The water dish, as you can see, is quite lovely.

So what does he do when he's thirsty?


Exactly.

You'll notice he's sitting on my newspaper, too -- almost directly on top of my Sudoku puzzle. And don't think that pencil was on the countertop long: One of his favorite games is to swat it onto the floor. I pick it up, I turn my back, he knocks it down. I pick it up again, I start reading a story in the Tribune, he swats the pencil off the counter again . . .

Maybe this is getting me ready for the days when I'll spend hours retrieving things Rachel has dropped from her high chair. After all, we're supposed to be using this "extra time" to prepare for full-time parenthood, aren't we?

Meanwhile, I know one thing: Despite all the annoyances, we adore that cat.


He has a beautiful purr -- his entire body vibrates, and you hear these little high-pitched harmonies in it. We're familiar with his purr because he launches into it right when we're getting ready to discipline him for knocking things off the nightstand into the trash can or for walking across the computer keyboard as one of us is typing. Just look at those beautiful green eyes . . . how can you be angry at a purring kitty?

Cyrus is keeping us entertained as we wait for our little one. And he's preparing us for parenthood in another way -- just as his purr calms our anger, one day the smell of a freshly bathed baby and the sound of her laughter will make all of the work and the wait and the worry worthwhile.

More than worthwhile, I suspect. I hope to be telling you all about it one day soon.

A gallery of babies

Referral photos can be sweet, funny, a little sad -- but always beautiful. Parents will always treasure that first sight of their little one bundled up like the Michelin man or propped up in an inflatible Hello Kitty chair. The webmaster for the July Dragonflies, who recently laid eyes on her own daughter for the first time, has put together this special gallery of referral photos from her little one's orphanage. It's a very sweet collection, and it'll make you laugh out loud. Enjoy!

Rachel's newest cousin

Hi everybody!

Say hello to baby Niklas, Lance's sister's new grandson. He was born Aug. 31 (just a day before his Great-Aunt Susan's birthday) and weighed 7 pounds, 15 ounces. He and his mom, his dad and his two big sisters are all doing fine. His grandparents are proud as they can be -- Gloria is so busy admiring him that she hasn't had time to refine her plot to steal our cat.

We can't wait to meet Nik! And we REALLY can't wait for Nik to meet his cousin Rachel!

Official word

Here's what it looks like when the China Center of Adoption Affairs updates its website:

One quirk of the wording is that CCAA always reports it has finished placing children for families registered "before" a certain date. To most of us, this notice would appear to say they have matched through July 21, not including the 22nd. However, people with log-in dates of July 22 were matched in this last batch.

Our log-in date is July 25. That means if we were waiting for service at the post office, we'd have No. 725, and the clerks would have just finished with customer No. 722. And they've just closed the window for a month-long lunch break.

The last few monthly batches of referrals have included anywhere from 7 to 15 log-in dates. July 25 was a Monday last year, so only a small number of dossiers were logged in over the weekend, July 23 and 24. That would seem to indicate that they can get to us that much faster.

But we're NOT making any assumptions about when we will be matched with Rachel. You'll just have to stay tuned (or consult the Magic 8-Ball). (EDITED 9-11-06: The magic 8-ball has disappeared! What am I going to do now?)

OK, I'm over it

Well, as Scarlett O'Hara always said, "tomorrow is another day." Today is yesterday's tomorrow (got that?), so I have a new attitude. I've climbed out of my pit and am ready to act like a normal human being! Sure, I'm disappointed that we have to wait another month (or more), but when it happens, it happens. We'll get the daughter we were meant to have (see, I told you I'd say that).

I think I deserved 24 hours to feel sorry for myself, and I took it. Now, onward!

Yesterday I posted the link to some other July referral photos, but I wanted to post a special link today so you can see Miss Olivia Jane Wei Schmick. Olivia is the newly matched daughter of Michelle and Eric. Michelle and I have gotten to be good friends through this process, even though we've yet to meet face to face. We found each other through the a Yahoo! group set up for folks whose dossiers were mailed in July. I mentioned that I live in the Chicago area, and Michelle wrote that she had grown up here. Before long we were e-mailing privately, finding that we had many other things in common. In the last few months we've exchanged quilt squares, told each other stories of our families, and solved each other's problems. We've ranted about the delays and delighted in each other's good news. Yesterday, she called me minutes after she received word of her referral, and I was one of the first people to see photos of Olivia. She is absolutely beautiful, of course. Michelle and I both like the outdoor photo best.

Even as she was sharing her good news yesterday, Michelle was asking how I was doing. And even through my own sadness, I was delighting in her happy news and crying over her daughter's photos. (Michelle! You're a MOM!) We had hoped to travel together, and now it looks like we won't, but I'm looking forward to her blazing a trail for me to follow and sharing her advice for those first few days of motherhood. And when we both get back, Michelle will bring Olivia here to meet her grandparents and other relatives, and we'll all meet. And we hope Olivia and Rachel will be friends.

So go look at the baby!

Oh, well. What's another month?

The Rumor Queen herself was stunned yesterday when people started posting news of referrals. We didn't even have a hint they were on the way! You can just imagine what a basket case I was at work, thinking that we might be in the group. But as the hours wore on and more and more folks reported in, we began to realize (with a sickening feeling) that CCAA had matched only 9 calendar days' worth of dossiers. The CCAA still has not updated its site, but it's clear today that the referrals only went through July 22 log-in dates. We were logged in July 25. That means we have to wait until the end of September for news.

We missed the cutoff by three stinking days.

I know many of you are genuinely distressed at this news, and you will want to offer us support and comfort. I apreciate that more than you can know; you have been more than kind to us, and I know you'll be as excited as we are when it is finally our turn. So I don't want to be disrespectful or ungrateful when I say this, but please don't tell me one of these things today:

1) At least you know you're next! No, I don't. I can't believe it until it happens.
2) When you get Rachel, you'll know she was "the one" and you'll be glad you had to wait until she was ready. I know this is true. I'll probably post this sentiment myself in just a week or two. But I'm sure you'll understand why, at least today, that is no comfort at all.

I'm grieving right now. In a couple of days I'll be fine, but right now I'm just miserable. I myself offered those bits of comfort to other people in previous months, but now I understand. I'll be OK, but today I just need to feel sorry for myself.

Some of my friends in the July group got referral calls yesterday, and many are eagerly anticipating them today. You can see the referrals on our group's web page. The babies are exceptionally beautiful this month, but I say that every time. We all know that next month's referrals will be the MOST beautiful of all.

Yes. Still. Waiting.

Wake us when there's news . . .

Predictions

The other day a friend at work asked if I had any news. I told her nope, not a thing.

"What does the gossip lady say?" she asked.

"It's not 'the gossip lady,'" I told her sternly. "It's the RUMOR QUEEN!"

Please, a little respect!

The Rumor Queen has many loyal subjects who check her site daily (OK, hourly) for any news about when referrals might come out, what dates they might include or any snippets of information about What The Heck They're Doing in China.

She tends to have solid information before anyone else. The rumors also can drive you crazy. And they are, after all, rumors. But those of us hoping for a referral this month find ourselves checking her site 10 (or 20 . . . OK, 30) times a day. It's addictive.

All hail the Queen!

I must admit, though, that while I'm waiting for word, I've found another source of hope: The Magic 8-Ball. (EDITED 9-11-06: The online Magic 8-Ball is no more). Even the Queen herself has suggested it is as accurate as she is early in the month. Until today, it has kept me cautiously optimistic that we'll receive a referral this month, but it has led me to believe that it will come so late that I won't have a photo of Rachel until September. Just now I asked again, though:

"Will we get our referral in August?" "You may rely on it."

Will we see her photo before Labor Day?" "YES."

I figure right now it's about as accurate as anything. Go ahead, check it for yourself. And let me know what it tells you!

Reunited twins

The Tribune today contained a beautiful story about reunited Chinese twins. Click here to see it. (You might have to register with the Tribune, but it's free).

Goodbye to an old friend

Today Lance and I had to say goodbye to Ethel, my 16-year-old pug/dachshund mix. She was a faithful friend and a good dog, and I already miss her.

























Ethel was always looking out for me. I love this photo because it was taken just a couple months after Lance and I began dating -- see how she has her eye on him?




Ethel put up with a lot, especially in the last few years:

Rest in peace, old friend.

Wow, this is taking a long time

(EDITED: I removed the annoying running counter because we received our referral at noon Sept. 25 -- that was 427 days, 10 hours and 58 minutes after our dossier was logged in at the China Center of Adoption Affairs).


The wait starts to wear on you after awhile, you know? I'm afraid to get too excited about our referral possibly being in the next batch because I don't want to be disappointed, but I think it's about time, don't you?

Hey! You found us!

Thanks for visiting The Rachel Chronicles, news about our adoption from China. Right now we're anxiously waiting to see Rachel's photo for the first time. Soon we'll be reporting on our trip to China and filing daily dispatches -- and photos. Then we'll chronicle life at home with our new daughter.

You can comment on any post by hitting the comment buttom at the end of it. If you don't have a blogger account you can post by hitting "anonymous," but please sign the post so we know who you are.

Below this post you'll also find all the original posts from the Caring Bridge site, with their photos. I have edited a few notes in some of them to account for the different format. I put the original post date on top, even though blogspot of course will identify them as being posted in August.

We hope you'll enjoy following along! It won't be long now, I promise.

A few notes on procedure

The time before we actually see little Rachel's face is growing short, so I thought I'd give you an idea how it will work. I don't want anybody to miss anything!

First of all, we'll hear that the China Center of Adoption Affairs is sending out "referrals" for dossiers logged in for a period of time that includes our log-in date of July 25, 2005. (I usually get word through a blog of a woman calling herself the Rumor Queen).

At some point, the CCAA will update its site with official word, but thanks to the internet adoption community we usually know sooner than that.

Once we hear referrals are on the way, Lance and I will spend several days jumping every time the phone rings. One of those phone calls at last will be our social worker, Bernie, calling to tell us we have been referred a child.

This is the part where our agency operates differently from others: Bernie will tell us our child's name, where she lives, and her date of birth. But that's about all we'll get for a week or 10 days, until the documents are fully translated to English. (Other agencies provide the photo that day or the next, but Sunny Ridge doesn't want us falling in love with the photo before we can get the full packet of information).

Finally, a LONG week or so later, we will drive to Sunny Ridge to get our FIRST PHOTOS of Rachel! Bernie also will give us that very important packet of documents containing medical information and other facts about our baby. A doctor in Chicago will review the information for us and then tell us if there is anything that should concern us. We will then sign some papers letting the Chinese government know we intend to adopt that child.

Once everyone in our travel group has accepted their referrals, Sunny Ridge will mail the documents back to China. After that, we have to wait several week to get permission to travel. Sunny Ridge will then schedule our appointment with the U.S. consulate and book our trip. Travel likely will be 8-10 weeks after we receive our referrals, but we might not know exactly when it's going to be until just a couple weeks before our departure date.

I almost forgot the most important part -- I will be updating every step of the way! Stay tuned for the first glimpse of Rachel’s face and vital statistics, as well as details on our trip.

This web site has been a wonderful way to keep people updated, but I think we’re going to move to a different address soon to get a little more flexibility. I want to move to a blog format so we can post more photos, and so we can post them alongside our text instead of in a different place. I don’t want anyone missing any part of our wonderful adventure! Once the blog is set up, I’ll post that information here, too.

So keep visiting -- you don‘t want to miss that sweet little face (or her fetching referral photo outfit!)

Official confirmation

The China Center of Adoption Affairs has made it official by updating its website -- the latest matches included families whose dossiers were logged in through July 13. Our log-in dates is July 25, so our chances for a referral in the next batch look very good. We should get news of our child before the end of August!

Now that we're close, I'm going to plan to update at least twice a week (probably more often as August goes on), so please check back often!

Nearing the finish line

A long time ago, when I lived in Arizona (and was much thinner), I ran a marathon -- just one, but I did it. This wait has reminded me of that experience in many ways. When I started the marathon, I was confident, in control, excited -- maybe even running a bit too fast. I settled into a comfortable stride as I began passing the mile markers. But gradually my pace slowed, and by mile 20 or 21, I found myself nearly alone and wondering if I could really do it. A man who had started a conversation with me early in the run (and who had completed 6 or 7 marathons previously) dropped out. A friend who was riding her bicycle along with me had sprinted ahead for awhile. I was walking more and more. But as I approached the end of the course, I got a burst of energy. My friend on the bike rejoined me, and my race buddy ran a few hundred of the last yards with me. I was determined to be running as I turned the corner to see the finish line, and I was -- only to discover that the race organizers were getting ready to take down the race clock. I summoned the energy to scream, "NOOOOO!." Startled, they left it up until I finished (I think the official results had me fourth to last).

Lance and I started this child adoption marathon feeling strong and confident. I actually thought that the home study and paperwork was the worst part. I even told some folks, "well, I've done all I can do. Now we just have to wait."

Just wait. Yep, that's all!

The good news is that we've rounded that last corner, and the people in charge are NOT taking down the finish line! We have the goal in sight, and we know we'll make it there SOON.

Friday and today, families whose dossiers were logged in a few weeks before ours are receiving calls from their agencies telling them they have been matched with a child. They'll now start their sprint toward the finish line. And we are right behind them, picking up the pace as we turn the corner. I feel very confident that our referral will be in the next batch, which I would expect to be out by the end of August.

That's only four or five weeks!

The CCAA has not yet updated its website to say how far the current matches go, but the agencies are telling their clients that the last day matched is July 13. We are logged in July 25.
Today is going to be an exciting day on our July Yahoo! group, as happy families start posting photos of their precious children. You can see many of the referrals also posted on our group's public website. Click on the referrals link to see what's there. So far we have listed a few expedited referrals (special needs children, or children referred to folks of Chinese ancestry), but later today you should start seeing some new little ones (some only 7 or 8 months old!)

So we have rounded the corner, we see the finish line, and we know the race clock will not be taken down before we cross it. In less than 30 days, we should be admiring our own little one's precious face -- and sharing it with all of you.

I expect to be updating more frequently as we near this exciting milestone, so please check back often!

Excitedly yours,

Susan

A new year in China

On July 25, 2005, the China Center of Adoption Affairs logged in our dossier. At the time, we expected to receive a photo and information on our daughter in six or seven months. but one year later we are still waiting. We don't think it'll be much longer, though, so stay tuned for updates.


On July 15, we attended a picnic with other families who will be traveling to China with us. It was about the hottest day ever in Illinois, but we had a good time getting to know each other a little better. I think it's going to be a really fun group. We're already supportive of each other through an e-mail chain and agency gatherings, and we will be getting together for many years to come as we watch our daughters grow. Check out the photos in the photo section (and, by the way, I am now allowed 12 photos instead of just six, so I was able to post three pictures from the picnic). (EDITED: But, of course, in the blog format I can post the photos all right here).

We're still expecting our referral in about a month, but that could change. Please check back often for news! I'll update in the next few days, once the next batch of referrals is mailed. Maybe we'll have some even better news then; you never know what will happen!

Quiltin' time

When Lance and I visited Brentwood last week, I
took some more fabric to my mother, who is
making our daughter‘s One Hundred Good Wishes
Quilt. On Saturday afternoon, we decided to take a
look at what we had. Mom already had pieced
together some of the 10-by-10 blocks, so we put
those out on the table to admire. Then we matched
some of the other fabrics and got to work. I cut the
pieces to the proper size, and Mom sewed together
more blocks. Sister Kay was our chief ironer,
fetcher and entertainer. We added the new blocks
to the others and stepped back to view the
collection.

It’s beautiful! The picture shows most of the blocks laid out, but they are not yet in any particular order, so this isn’t the quilt’s final appearance. But it gives us an idea of the diversity of the pieces and how they somehow all fit together to make a beautiful keepsake.

Our original plan was to use a snowball pattern, which would have had us cut all the pieces to the same size and shape. But just as our friends and family members are each unique and beautiful in their own way, so were the materials donated for the quilt. We realized that we couldn’t just cut them all down to fit a pattern -- some needed a little bit larger space, or a different shape or size. So we found something else that seems to be working.

The pattern we’re using calls for three pieces of fabric in each block, but few of the blocks fit the pattern exactly. Some blocks have pieces of different sizes than in the pattern (good thing I‘m good at math!). Some blocks will be composed of two fabrics instead of three, and a few will be only one fabric (like nephew Brett’s Mickey Mouse shirt, for example, or my friend’s large pocket with a Velcro flap that she donated so Rachel would have a place to put her treasures). With others we just had to get creative, like sewing Cousin Brenda’s blue jeans pocket on a square of my mother’s colorful fabric. I love every one of them.

Kay kept trying to make it tidy, to have all the blocks symmetrical or laid out in certain color families. I told her to give up on that! When I look at the pieces, I don’t see a hodge-podge of designs, I see the love and good wishes of our family and friends. I started telling Kay the story behind each individual piece, who donated it and why that person is special to us. You all have poured out so much love on a child you haven’t even met -- you have no idea how wonderful that makes us feel. And just think of how SHE will feel years from now when she looks at the quilt and reads your wishes in her scrapbook. It makes me ache even more to bring that baby home and wrap her in all that love.

We’re going to use some of the fabrics again on the border, so if your contribution ended up being just a small piece, you’re likely to see it again in another spot. If you can’t find you fabric in the photo, don’t worry: Some fabrics are not yet in blocks because we’re waiting to match them with others or trying to decide how best to use them. My own donation is not yet in a block, nor is Lance’s.

If you haven’t donated your fabric yet, it’s time to send it to me or to my mother. Please do it soon -- we don’t want to leave anyone out.

Besides, “Seventy-five Good Wishes Quilt” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Waiting for the Lord

My dear friend Debi, who is pastor of the Cheney (Wash.) United Church of Christ, went to China last month on a sort of mission trip. While there, she sent e-mail reports to her congregation (and me!) about all the things she and her daughter were seeing and doing. One letter included this paragraph:

"I spent my time watching all the cute Chinese children, and saw an 8-month and 20-day-old little girl named JingJing. I thought of Susan waiting for a baby, and thought that it will be worth the wait."

On Friday, the director of our adoption agency's China program updated waiting parents, saying, in part:

"For many of us who wait and try and find answers and rationales for wait times, we busy ourselves with perusing the internet via chat rooms, e-lists and websites. Much of the process is out of control, and so we fill up the days to learn as much as possible and, as a result, feel as if we have some sort of understanding. The process of adoption can make Type A personalities out of control, and yet we have to acknowledge our lack of control. We learn patience, grudgingly."

Don't you think she could have just sent me a private e-mail? She even went on to repeat the Serenity Prayer, for goodness' sake.

Then this morning in church, our pastor preached a sermon whose title I've borrowed for this update. The scripture was from Psalm 130: "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope."

Rev. Babler talked about how in our anxiousness to "get things done," we find it difficult to "wait upon the Lord." He pointed out that Ron Santo keeps commenting, as Cubs batters take their position at home plate, that they look like they're too anxious; they're leaning into the ball instead of waiting for the pitch. They're trying too hard to overcome their reputation of being "lovable losers."

Yesterday, the Cubs had a one-point lead in the ninth inning, with two outs and two strikes, only to have the White Sox's A. J. Pierzynski hit one out of the park -- and score three runs to win the game. So if Dr. Phil were here to ask, "how's that working for ya?" the Cubs would have to respond, "not so good."

Rev. Babler said, "Faith means trust. Trust means waiting -- waiting on a good and merciful Lord."

And:

"God is here. God is ahead. God is at work."

OK, OK. I don't have to be hit over the head any more. I trust the process. I am serene. I am waiting for the Lord to work this precious miracle in our lives.

And, yes, I know it will be well worth the wait

I am so grateful for all of you whose souls are waiting with ours.

Serenely yours,
Susan

P.S. -- Families from our adoption agency are in China now and have received their little blessings! You can see a report from one Mom here.

Great news today!

The China Center of Adoption Affairs announced it has matched babies with families whose dossiers were logged in through June 28. That means that:

1) They covered more dates than they have in any month since February.

2) I feel good about our chances for a referral in August.

Things can change, of course. Anybody who wants to hear my detailed analysis of statistics and theories is welcome to call or e-mail me . . . but the bottom line is that this is TERRIFIC news. I am getting excited at the thought that we might see our daughter's face in as little as 8 or 9 weeks.

Waiting hopefully,

Susan

Twenty things

Now that our expected 6-to-7-month wait for a referral has doubled, I'm in an unfamiliar position: I've nearly run out of items to check off on my to-do list! So I started a new list of the things I’ve been doing to prepare. I hope you’ll offer some suggestions, too:

1) Carrying the cat around the house in my new baby carrier.

2) Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Washed down with Diet Coke.

3) Scheduling big events several months out in the hope that it'll cause our referral to come faster. If I pay $130 for theater tickets, I’ll be heading to China by then, right?

4) Taking Lauren to see "Wicked." Two weeks ago.

5) Looking up the lyrics to sappy love songs that I think could be the sound track for our adoption video, and then humming them incessantly (current favorite: "I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You.")

6) Sudoku. I've worked so many puzzles that I ended up winning the $50 first prize in a contest for Tribune employees. (Tomorrow, the world!).

7) Putting pieces of quilt squares in a scrapbook with the beautiful notes you've written our daughter (HINT HINT to some of you).

8) Pondering important life questions such as "why do babies need special wash cloths?"

9) Retail therapy -- No matter what season she comes home, she’ll wear onesies, right? So how could I resist the two that say (in Chinese characters) "I love Daddy," and "I love Mommy?"


10) Stashing reading glasses in key spots around the house so if she needs medication in the middle of the night I'll be able to read the labels.

11) Staring at kids at Target (particularly Asian babies).

12) Editing stories at work and then vowing she'll never go on the internet, she can't get a driver's license until she's 21, and no boys will be allowed within a 10-mile radius of our house.

13) Full-size highchair vs. portable booster seat: Discuss.

14) Organizing a mid-July picnic with the other members of our Sunny Ridge July dossier group (see item #3).

15) E-mailing new friends around the country who understand the following acronyms: DTC, LID, CCAA, TA. Oh, and PITA.

16) Writing thank-you notes for quilt squares on my beautiful red "xie xie" notes (Haven't gotten yours yet? Send in your quilt square!)

17) Buying baby nail clippers that have an attached magnifier (see item #10).

18) Practicing reading out loud the kids' books I have bought -- especially the ones on adoption -- without breaking down (I dare you to get through "Mommy Far, Mommy Near." I haven’t yet).

19) Figuring out how many diapers $50 will buy (see item #6)

20) Taking long baths. Sleeping. Sitting in a spotless, quiet house and realizing it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Dreaming of baby

I dreamed the other night that the social worker dropped off our baby unexpectedly one evening. It was a Thursday, and I was a little irritated because I didn't know what I was going to do with her on Friday. "Who's going to watch her?" I kept fuming at Lance. "There's no way I can take tomorrow off work with so little notice." When nighttime came, we put her in her crib -- in the garage. The next morning I went to check on her and found the crib had rolled outside the garage (and of course we were at the old family home in Brentwood, where the house was at the top of a very steep hill that the crib was just about to roll down). I was a little disturbed at that, but then I had a great idea: "Why don't we put her crib in our room tonight?" And no, I have no idea why we didn't just put her in the fully prepared room that you've been seeing photos of for four or five months now!

People will interpret your dreams for you in all kinds of ways. It was clear to me that I have anxiety about not being prepared, but Lance said that was because HE hasn't done his part yet and I'm worried about that (I have given him a list of tasks, of course). One of the other women in my travel group says it's very clear that my dream means our referrals will be here soon. Maybe I'm just afraid I won't be prepared to care for an infant -- I've had back pain all week. Or maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't eat dinner so late at night!

Whatever the meaning, I'd just like to say that I AM READY. When we first realized this process was being delayed, I didn't mind too much because it was holiday time and I had a lot of things to keep me busy in the "extra" time. But now the room is fixed up, I have bought many of the supplies I'll need, and I am ready to get on with this! We're at the stage where I've done most of what I can do before we get our referral information and I know how old she is, how big she is, and where and when we'll be traveling. At that point, I'll be in a tizzy again, but for now we wait.

The good news is that our agency is still telling us to expect our referral by the end of July. It doesn't seem to me that that's very likely, given the slow pace the last few months, but I'll go with what they tell me! Meanwhile, I'm trying not to wish the months away. I'm going to try to catch up on my sleep, do some reading, and spend some time alone with my husband (who DOES still have a list of things to do, but most of them also don't need to be done until after referral).

I hope to have news soon, so check back often.


P.S. to Debi: Have a GREAT trip to China next week; you'll know I wish I was there!

Baby Steps

On Tuesday, the China Center of Adoption Affairs announced it had matched children with families whose dossiers were logged in by June 15, 2005. The newest referrals are arriving now at adoption agencies, and many families are seeing their children's faces for the first time. If you'd like to see some of the referrals, go to this page.

We really hope it won't be too much longer before we can share our child's photo with you, but it sometimes gets discouraging. The CCAA matched only 5 days' worth of dossiers in March and 7 days in April. Matching 9 days' worth in May was an improvement, but a small one. If they keep matching at this pace, it will take another four or five months to get to our dossier, which was logged in on July 25. We do think it will speed up a bit in coming months; we're just going to have to be patient. Meanwhile, please enjoy looking at the other referral photos so you can share in the families' joy.

Preview of coming attractions

One of the ways we adoptive parents-in-waiting pass the time is to follow (OK, obsessively read) other parents' web sites or web logs. One of the moms from our agency's May group has given me permission to post this link so you can see her brand-new daughter, Miss Genevieve (Gigi) YuMi Irwin.

Michelle and her husband, Dave, received Gigi's referral information at the end of April, when their daugther was less than 7 months old! They should be traveling to China in the next month or two, so if you check their blog from time to time, you'll get a preview of what we'll be doing in just a couple of months. They plan to post updates from China (as we hope to do when we go!).

The referral photos are always kind of funny to me because the poor little babies are usually so bundled up that you can barely see their sweet faces. Gigi was only three months old in her referral photo, and the clothes she is wearing just swallow her up. You'll notice she's propped up on some kind of inflatable toy chair; at least one other family in that group has a photo of their own daughter in the same chair.

One thing our agency does differently from most others is that they will not give families photos of their children until all the information that comes with them has been translated. The reason for this is that they strongly recommend you have a doctor look over the medical information so you can make a good decision on whether to accept the referral. They figure if you've been staring at the photo for a week first, you'll be madly in love and unable to hear what the doctor might tell you. I think they're right, but I also think it is going to drive me crazy to have to wait a week or 10 days to see her face! We will get her name, birth date, and where she lives right away, though, and that will give us enough information to shout from the rooftops!

I also want to share another blog with you. I don't know these people at all, but I love reading about their beautiful twins. I especially recommend you look at the March 4 entry so you can click on the video and get a great laugh. I've watched that video over and over; it really keeps my spirits up, and I think you'll enjoy it.

You can find other web sites or blogs fairly easily if you search, and it is interesting to read other families' experiences. But keep an eye on Gigi and her parents for a great preview of our next few months!

Thanks for waiting with us!

Little bits of news

The day after I returned home from my visit with Debi in Washington, our social worker, Bernie, came by to recheck our house for our foster care license. There wasn't much business to conduct as far as that went; we still have smoke detectors and indoor plumbing, and we know we need to babyproof the house before we travel. I did get to show off the baby's room, which was still a guest room a year ago when she visited our house for the home study.

Bernie liked the room, and she was glad to hear of some of the preparations we are making, such as taking the CPR class and learning some basic Chinese. She also offered sympathy for our long wait, but not much new information. When I told her we were gearing up for a July referral and September travel, she said that sounded like a "reasonable expectation." I know that probably doesn't sound like much encouragement, but our agency is very conservative in what they tell waiting parents, so I was cheered that she didn't try to tell me she thought I was aiming too high!

The Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs tends to release referrals in a big batch around the end of each month, so it's likely to be another 10 days to 2 weeks before we know anything about the next group. The CCAA has matched babies with families whose paperwork was received as of June 6; our paperwork was logged in July 25. So we'll have a better idea how much longer we'll be waiting once we see how many days worth of dossiers they include in the next bunch (I know I'm sounding like a broken record, but it's all I have right now!)

Since my last report, we've learned that our agency's May group's referrals are of children living in the Jiangxi province and ranging in age from 7 months to one year. I have seen photos of three of them so far, and they are absolutely beautiful (of course). The youngest ones were born in October, and the photos were taken in January, so they are tiny little things (even though they're bundled up so much they look like the Michelin man!). Some parents got updated information in the last few days, so they can see how the babies are growing and try to figure out what size clothing and diapers they'll need. Once the parents sign on the dotted line to accept the child referred to them, they begin a round of preparations for the trip of a lifetime! They'll have another travel meeting and will start buying supplies and trying to cram it all into suitcases that weigh no more than 40 pounds (the limit for in-China flights). Sunny Ridge will get consulate appointments for them, which will determine when they travel. Once they receive permission from the government to travel, they'll make flight arrangments and get their visas and could be on their way very quickly. It looks like they'll be traveling before the end of June, and we wish them a blessed journey.

Meanwhile, we're anxiously awaiting our turn! I'm always pleased when I see someone has signed our guest book (EDITED -- In the new format, "when I see someone has left a comment", so thanks to everyone who has done that. As we get closer to our trip, we'll update more often, so please keep an eye on us!

Happy Spring!

I can hardly believe May is here already! When we mailed our documents out in July, we fully expected to be home with our little one by now, but you all are well aware that we're not . . . I still think we're about three months away from a referral (then another two months to travel), but I could be wrong. There's nothing to do but wait and see!

People keep asking the reason for the wait, and we can really only guess at it. It does appear, though, that two things are happening 1) a larger number of people than usual applied to adopt from China in the months before we did and 2) there are fewer babies eligible and ready to be adopted, possibly because improving economic conditions means fewer babies are abandoned, and more likely because officials are taking more time and care with the paperwork. Either way, we are assured we WILL have our baby -- we just don't know when. You'll all just have to be patient with us!

The Chinese government just last week announced it had matched babies with folks whose dossiers were logged in by June 6 (we were logged in July 25). The best news about this is that the folks in our agency's May dossier group -- whose documents were logged in June 2 -- have now been matched with their babies. We are SO THRILLED for these families, who really were hit hard by the delays. We're hearing that some of the babies are as young as 6-7 months old, which is exciting news for us, too. We are hoping for an infant, too, but are worried that we are growing older along with our paperwork!

Meanwhile, I decided to take a few days off work for a little vacation. I'm visiting my friend Debi in Spokane, and we're having a wonderful time. I should return to Naperville later this week fully recharged and ready to go back to work.

Passing the time

My friend Cory is right when she says in the guest book that this is the longest labor on record (I won't talk about the delivery yet!). Actually, people adopting from China in the past have had waits as long as a couple of years; we're grateful that we don't expect ours to be that bad. And a few years ago, the SARS outbreak caught some parents in between referral photos and travel, delaying their trips for many weeks. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have a travel delay after we'd already seen our little one's picture!

While we wait, though, we've had some nice surprises. First of all, my smart and talented friend Adrienne Frank -- who creates beautiful purses by hand when she's not working full time or pursuing her master's degree -- has named a purse for me! You can see it here.

Be sure you read the cute description of "my" purse. I've already ordered two -- one for myself and one to save for Rachel. If you don't like "my" design, you'll probably find something else you'll like in her many beautiful designs.

And speaking of fortune cookies (they're all over the purse), a recent cookie contained a special fortune for me: "Be prepared to receive something special." I am, I am! I thought it was a really nice fortune because we are waiting for a beautiful child. However, because we were visiting with my family, they automatically added "in bed" to the fortune and got a good laugh. (My nephew's fortune said, "you are good with your hands").

When we went to Brentwood I took some more quilt pieces to my mother, and she showed me some from our Alabama relatives that I hadn't yet seen. We had a fun time looking through them all (but we still need more -- please send yours in if you haven't yet!!!) and figuring out how they would go together. I even cut some pieces so she can start making blocks, but we saved a some pieces to see if they would go better with something that hasn't yet come in (that's another hint!). We have more than 60 pieces so far, collected over five months' time. Yet, as I held up each one, I could tell my mother who contributed it, and I could tell her a story about that person. So please know that each piece has a special place in my heart; I am enjoying putting your cards and letters in Rachel's memory book so she'll know all about you, too.

I've also been passing the time by decorating her room. I bought some shelves and painted them and hung them up, and I have spelled out her name in colorful letters above her crib. I posted new photos of the room as it looks now. I really love the room; it's cheerful and soothing. The only thing I don't like about it right now is that it's too quiet!

A new batch of referals should be in the mail by the end of the week, so I hope to have an update for you soon on our expected timing.

Waiting and learning

Lance and I spent the morning at an infant/child CPR course, learning all kinds of skills we hope we NEVER use! It was frightening enough to practice dislodging an imaginary piece of food from the throat of a plastic infant, but if we're ever confronted with an emergency, maybe we'll remember enough of the steps to help.

Right now I feel like flying to China to give CPR to some of the folks in the matching room! The CCAA did in fact match only five days' worth of dossiers in all of March, so we're kind of stalled right now. We expect that the Sunny Ridge families whose dossiers were logged in on June 2 will get their referrals at the end of this month or first of May, which means they waited 11 months for their child's photo. If we follow that same timeline, we can expect our referral in late June, which means we'll travel by the end of August. That estimate could change with the next batch of referrals, so stay tuned.

We've all heard the saying that good things come to those who wait. We know we're going to have a very special gift to celebrate this Thanksgiving season.

Patiently yours,
Susan and Lance

Waiting for Spring

When I took Ethel out this morning I saw two robins playing in the snow. That's March in Chicago for you! The calendar may say Spring, but we had an inch of snow last night (and flurries right now). When I saw the robins, I thought of how when we started this process we expected to be traveling "in the spring." Later, we amended that to say we expected our referral information "in the spring." Well, spring's not here yet, and neither is our referral. And the news from China this week is disheartening.

The latest rumors (which appear to be solid) are that the China Center of Adoption Affairs' next batch of referrals will cover those dossiers logged in only through May 30. That means that in a full (long) month of work, the CCAA matched FIVE DAYS worth of dossiers. It makes you wonder why they can't move some of the workers from the review room (where they already are working on September dossiers) into the matching room! As disheartening as it is for those of us whose dossiers were logged in July 25 to know we're going to be waiting longer, it's much worse for the Sunny Ridge families immediately ahead of us -- their dossiers were mailed May 24 and logged in June 3. Those people expected to have their referrals in this batch for sure; our hearts go out to them.

One theory as to why China had so many applications in the months preceeding ours is that some other countries unexpectedly closed down to international adoptions, and families who were preparing to send a dossier to Russia, for example, switched over to China. One big advantage to adopting from China is that there is a central agency overseeing the adoptions and a set procedure that everyone follows. So while we don't know how long it will take, we know for sure that we WILL get a child. And we will get that referral right after the folks whose dossiers were logged in on July 24 get theirs. Someone joked that she imagined all the July dossiers sitting in the matching room covered with coffee rings, and that may be the case. But eventually we will be at the top of the pile!

You all know that I'm a "planner," so I could handle a very long wait if I just KNEW how long it was going to be! But we can't always understand God's timing. Last fall as I planted some tulip bulbs, I thought about how pretty the yard would be when they bloomed in April or so. I imagined we'd be home with the baby by then and the tulips would be a welcome home bouquet. Well, that's not going to happen this year. But the good thing about the tulips is I know they'll be a cheerful presence in our lives for many springs to come -- just as we expect our daughter to be.

Now we're making progress!

Yes, I realize I just posted last night to say we're waiting . . . and waiting, but now I have some good news! When I checked the website this morning for the China Center of Adoption Affairs, I found this update:

"The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before July 31, 2005."

Those of you who are keeping track will know why I was so excited to see this note -- our dossier was logged in to the CCAA on July 25. That means our dossier has been checked, our documents are in order, and WE HAVE MOVED TO THE MATCHING ROOM!

Sorry to shout, but this is exciting. Just knowing that we're in "the room" means we're that much closer to having our baby here with us. The last batch of referrals covered the dossiers logged in as of May 25, so they still have 60 days worth of matches to make before they get to us. So even though we're in the room, we're at the bottom of what is probably a very large stack. I still expect we will get our referral no sooner than April, but WE ARE IN THE MATCHING ROOM! We are inching closer!

We can't wait to see our daughter for the first time -- stay tuned, and we'll introduce you to her here!

Still waiting

We were disappointed last week when the China Center of Adoption Affairs updated its website to say that families whose dossiers were logged in through May 25 had been matched with their children. We're very happy for all those families, of course, but we were hoping the CCAA would get through more than 12 days' worth of dossiers in a month of matching. Even taking into account the Chinese New Year holiday, which shut down the office for a week, that's slow going.

The internet is full of rumors, of course. Some say the CCAA is likely to speed up with the matches soon, because they've just finished processing a couple of "big" months. Others speculate that the slowdown will continue -- our social worker is in that group. She told me this week that the CCAA keeps receiving more and more applications, but there are limits on how many children can be placed for adoption. That doesn't mean we won't get a baby; it just means that we will have to wait a little longer than we thought.

So we're waiting!

Our social worker speculates that with a log-in date of July 25, we could see a referral around the end of May. That would mean we would travel in July. It'll be incredibly hot, but I guess all those years in Phoenix have prepared me. I'm holding out for April, of course, but there's not a darn thing I can do about when the CCAA will make its decision, so I am learning patience.

One thing keeping my spirits up during the wait is seeing all the contributions to the 100 Good Wishes Quilt -- have you contributed your square yet? If not, you have plenty of time, and we urge you to participate! Read here for all the details.

Show us the baby!

We're starting to get a little antsy about this wait. When we began this process we expected to have our referral by now and be preparing for travel, but instead we're still at least a month (and perhaps two) away from getting any information about our daughter at all. Waiting is really difficult. Lance has even started having bizarre dreams (not that dreaming that we went to China and found out our baby was a 2-year-old boy who spoke English and was a drug runner is that bizarre, really).

Our first travel meeting didn't yield any more information about how soon we can expect a referral. The social workers are all very careful not to say anything that you'll stress over! We are getting closer, though. We learned about all kinds of things at the meeting, like what not to take photos of, how to dress, and what yuan (Chinese money) look like. We also learned that our "log-in date" is July 25. That means that when we check the internet for rumors or look at the Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs' web site, we get a true idea of how our dossier is moving (creeping) through the process. It does appear they've almost finished reviewing July dossiers, so we hope to be in the matching room soon!

You can see that we've got a good start on turning our guest room into our baby's room. My friend Debi was here last month, and she helped me paint the walls a beautiful yellow (and she helped me get a whole lot of that yellow paint out of the carpet after I dripped -- OK, poured -- it there). She and I went out to buy the crib and changing table, and Lance put them together. Lance and I moved the "grownup" furniture out of that room. The latest addition is the beautiful glider my parents bought us last weekend when they were visiting. I love that chair so much that I've gone into the room several times just to sit and rock. The only problem is that makes me wish the baby were here to enjoy it!

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we wait -- we know the perfect child will be matched with us, so we're trying to be patient!

It's getting closer!

We have some great news -- our adoption agency has scheduled our first travel preparation meeting for next Thursday. We see this as a sign that the agency expects us to receive our referral soon, because we don't think they'd want to risk us forgetting all the important information they give us! This meeting will prepare us for receiving our referrals and also give us some basic information such as what we'll need to take to China, what we shouldn't pack, things we can expect to do or see on the trip, cultural issues, that sort of thing. We'll have our second meeting after we get a travel date to go over our exact itinerary and other instructions.

Our travel group includes 10 other families whose dossiers were mailed with ours on July 13. We met most of our travel mates at a pre-adoption seminar we attended last fall; we exchanged e-mail addresses and some basic information then. In the succeeding months we have run into each other at events like the agency picnic or the Chinese New Year celebration, and we have exchanged occasional e-mails wondering HOW MUCH LONGER we'll have to wait! Not only will we be sharing a life-altering experience with these other families, but they'll be our support system in the years to come -- many travel groups continue to get together periodically after bringing their daughters home.

One of the reasons we chose this agency, Sunny Ridge Family Center, is because of the support they give adoptive parents during this trip. For one thing, the entire travel group will take the entire journey together. That may sound basic, but many agencies have the families make their own arrangements and meet up with each other after they arrive in China. Another thing we really like is that a social worker from Sunny Ridge will take the entire trip with us. Not only will we have someone with us who has made the trip previously, but he or she will be experienced in helping parents and their babies bond in those crucial first few days together. In China, we'll also travel with a man named Bill who is employed by our agency and lives and works in China.

Sunny Ridge wisely has us spend a few days sight-seeing when we first arrive in the country. This is to give us time to adjust to the time change and to learn more about this beautiful country where our daughter was born. After that, we'll travel to the province where our daughters are living. Often, all the referalls for one group are of children from the same welfare institute, which means we continue to travel together. If the children are from two different places, we'll split up to travel to those two provinces, with the social worker staying with one group and Bill with the other. We will spend about a week in the province, actually completing the adoption there. Then we'll head south to Guangzhou, where we'll do some more paperwork to get visas to bring our daughters home. We'll also have time for more sight-seeing, shopping, and just spending time together as a family.

You can tell we're excited, and we're eager to start our preparations. I'll share details with you as we know them. Most importantly, we should be getting word on our daughter in a month or two, and you'll be able to read it here first! So keep us (and the Chinese officials) in your thoughts and prayers as we await this news.

The photo is from the Chinese New Year celebration on Jan. 29. I WILL post photos of the baby's room, just as soon as we move some extra furniture out of there and get it arranged!